Author: Caitlyn

Choose to Lose

On By CaitlynIn Just Thoughts

Back to The Vision.

This is an army that would lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day, its soldiers choose to lose that they might one day win the great “well done” of faithful sons and daughters.

What does it look like to lay down my life for the cause of Christ–the Kingdom of God?

It starts with a mindset that I am not my own. (1 Corinthians 6:19) I have been bought with a price, so my entire being belongs to God. Laying down my life only costs me the illusion that it was my life to give in the first place. He owns me, in the most beautiful way possible, and I want to cooperate with his ownership in every way I can.

For me, in my day to day safe little American life, literally sacrificing my lifeblood isn’t much of a possibility. But I want my life to be a sacrifice, not just my death. My life is my every moment, every choice. It’s sacrificing my time, my convenience, my comfort, to allow God’s love to flow through me.

It’s embracing humility.

Humility is so foreign to human nature. We naturally make our lives about “looking out for number one.” Embracing humility is perhaps the most counter-cultural thing we could do, but it’s perhaps the number one way to be like God.

“Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”
(Philippians 2:3-11, emphasis added)

Jesus chose to lose in the most dramatic way possible. He who is El Elyon, God Most High, came so low to wash our feet.

God has honoured him for it, and he will also honour us for following Jesus’ example. I have a hard time imagining anything more beautiful.

“Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.”
(Matthew 5:5)

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you.”
(1 Peter 5:6)

Tweet
Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares

Spring Break Update

On By CaitlynIn IHOPKC Life, Personal Updates1 Comment

I was on spring break from camp this week. I spent the entire week at home. Easter was lovely, and it definitely gave me a chance to observe and reflect on how we’re all growing older and so much has changed. We haven’t done a real Easter egg hunt in several years, so Mom just dumped a bunch of candy on the floor and we all sat around politely nibbling on it. No mad grab, no piles, no trading five jelly beans for one Reese’s. We did a little bit of dare-you-to-eat-this-mystery-jelly-belly, though, so I guess full maturity hasn’t hit yet. One or two “significant others” joined us, which makes my heart swell with joy. I love adding to the family circle. especially such wonderful people and perfect fits as they are. Many of us went to different Easter services and even different churches, which was weird but good. We’re each choosing our own spiritual communities and our own places to encounter God.

The rest of the week was relaxing but fun and productive. Highlights:

  • I kept my Netflixing minimal. (Well, I say “minimal”… I went through all of season one of Dollhouse in two days, then successfully avoided TV the rest of the week.) Those who’ve lived with me will recognise the accomplishment this is.
  • In my defence, the above marathon occurred during recovery from a devilish cold which almost put me out of commission for a few days at work. And that ain’t easy to do. I went through more tissues this week…
  • I purged and organised my giant 6’x6′ IKEA bookshelf and cleared out a whopping 13 of its 25 squares. All of my college papers are now completely sorted and labeled. Hallelujah.
  • I went thrift shopping with my sister and bought three adorable tank tops for a total of about $5 that were all completely unique yet all had nearly the exact same yellow colour scheme. I seem to have definitively discovered my new favourite colour.
  • I watched the Doctor Who episode “The Eleventh Hour” with my sister while eating fish fingers and custard, as the Doctor and Amelia iconically do in the episode. I cannot even express how gleefully geeky we felt.

    Oh yes. This happened.
    Oh yes. This happened.

I also took some more baby steps forward on the IHOPU planning front.

  • I got in touch with someone in Kansas City from whom I might be renting a basement room. Things are looking very positive– OHMYGOSH I’M RENTING MY OWN PLACE!!
  • I filled out my IHOPU application, then seem to have recycled it along with mounds of junk from the shelves I cleaned. Ah well. Emailed the admissions office for another form, since it’s inexplicably not online.
  • I did a projected state of my financial affairs in August. Not too shabby. Not exactly fully self-sustaining, but definitely starting off on the right foot. 🙂 God is providing… I love it when he does that!

Oh, and the Academic Calendar for the Fall 2013 semester is now online.

2013 Fall Semester

August 15–17 | New student orientation
August 19 | Fall semester/quarter I begins
October 11 | Quarter I ends
October 14 | Quarter II begins
November 24–December 1 | Thanksgiving break
December 13 | Fall semester/quarter II ends
December 15–January 19 | Christmas/winter break

Guys, this is starting to feel really real again.

I do have a few prayer requests, since I’m apparently in list mode:

  • The last trimester at camp to go well– energy for all the staff!
  • A good summer job to come through.
  • Housing arrangements in KC to be settled.
  • The application process to IHOPU to go smoothly.

Thank you for your support and your prayers as God turns my life beautifully upside down. 🙂 Grace and peace!

Tweet
Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares

Book Hangover

On By CaitlynIn Just Thoughts1 Comment

I’m currently in one of those weird moods commonly known to bibliophiles as a “book hangover,” although I contest that it can happen with TV programmes equally strongly. This happened a few days ago when I finally watched the recent Christmas special of Downton Abbey. No spoilers, but suffice it to say that there was a long beautiful sequence of scenes of joy and peace and promise and newness, and then in ten heinous seconds it all was ripped away leaving a gaping bloody hole in the centre of perfection… and then I had to walk away and do “real life,” whatever the heck that is. And all I could think about was how sadistic these writers are and how are these people going to bear it when they discover what the viewers know but the family is blissfully unaware of until the next episode… Curse you, BBC!!!

Anyway, I was talking about books. Somehow books are even weirder because it all happens completely in your mind. Interrupt me while I’m reading, and my eyes will jerk up, staring blankly, trying to reorient myself but 99% mentally still in the book. Whatever words stumble from my mouth in those next few seconds are almost guaranteed not to make sense.  The only reason I’m able to write coherently now is that I put the book down a full thirty minutes ago.

I’m currently reading a mind-bending sci-fi/fantasy novel called Pathfinder by Orson Scott Card. The plot is excellent, but it’s the intelligence of the characters that makes Card’s books stand out. I feel like I’m learning so much about human nature just from the way the characters understand humanity. Anyway, I read a full 300 pages in one sitting. Took me about three hours. Yes, I know that’s insanely fast. I’m probably not human.

When I finally “come to” enough to realise that I should probably take a break, I close the book, wash my dishes which had been sitting abandoned next to me for at least two hours, and stumble upstairs and into the bathroom, something else I haven’t done in far too long. Staring into the mirror, an array of bizarre yet familiar thoughts accost me. It’s a bit of a side effect of the bleary return to the “real world.” Like waking up from the Matrix.

Well, here I am. Caitlyn. Is that my name? Who is Caitlyn? Oh look at that, I have a body. Still got legs. I am inside my body. Isn’t that weird. I am stuck inside my body experiencing only what’s immediately around me. Is this how time normally passes–very slowly, in the right order? Have I always been in my body? How maddening–I’ve always been inside my body, always thinking even while asleep, never leaving myself alone. I feel completely claustrophobic inside my own skull. Because clearly I’m not my body. I’ve barely been aware of my body for the past three hours. So what is this consciousness trapped in here? What is Thought, what is Consciousness, what is Self, or Soul, or Sentience? Are all people like this–so much bigger on the inside?

And then I conclude that I’ve had a little too much Book for one day and decide an appropriate remedy is finding some Real People to Hang Out with. Extreme introversion must be occasionally forcibly counterbalanced with purposeful social interaction. Except like tonight when the house is empty and my options become basically either watch Merlin on Netflix or go to bed early. If I’m smart, I’ll choose the latter and start fresh tomorrow, when I’m hopefully a bit more in touch with this thing called Reality and feeling a little more at home inside my own skull.

Tweet
Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares

Rightly Do They Love You (Song of Songs 1:4 part 2)

On By CaitlynIn Bible Stuff

I haven’t blogged about Song of Songs since October, but I’ve still been reading and meditating on it, of course. And it is high time I continue my journey through it with all of you.

“We will exult and rejoice in you;”
(Song of Songs 1:4d)

The speakers here are the “others,” the daughters of Jerusalem, the community of believers. Of course, since the speaker attributions aren’t actually in the original text, different translations interpret who says what slightly differently at times. I think, though, that the content of what is said is in this case more important than who technically says it.

I love this rejoicing in Jesus. HE is our celebration. It’s not even rejoicing in his blessings; it’s just simply celebrating who he is, though of course who he is is expressed and displayed in what he does. But like lovers enjoy one another’s personalities and not only actions, so our purest worship and joy is centred solely on Jesus’ heart.

I will rejoice in you, in your character, in the very essence of your personality. I celebrate who you are–who you have always been, who you will always be.

“Yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation.”
(Habakkuk 3:18)

“I will greatly rejoice in the LORD; my soul shall exult in my God, for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation; he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.”
(Isaiah 61:10)

“We will extol your love more than wine; rightly do they love you.”
(Song of Songs 1:4e)

Here’s the wine motif again. And I love that word “extol.” To me, this sounds like “I can’t stop talking about your love, more than any other thing or pleasure.”

I extol a lot of stuff. A friend asked me yesterday what Doctor Who was all about, anyway. I talked for ten minutes, and I daresay she understood about half of what I said. I would have gone on longer if I hadn’t ought to get back to work. I love Doctor Who; give me half a chance and my praise of it just bubbles out.

But Jesus is the ultimate one worthy of our extolment. (Yes, that’s a word, I looked it up.) He is so, so worthy. Rightly do we love him. He actually deserves every ounce of adoration I could ever give and infinitely more. Not just because he’s God– many “gods” throughout mythology have proven themselves so unworthy of worship by their character alone. He deserves love because of his deep love. He is good, he is holy, he is so completely humble and sacrificial. This is the God who is worth extolling above everything else.

“We love because he first loved us.”
(1 John 4:19)

As a matter of fact, the New King James Version says, “We will remember your love more than wine.” The word translated either remember or extol is the Hebrew זכר, zakar, means “to mark (so as to be recognized), that is, to remember; by implication to mention” and is variously translated in the NASB as be mindful, boast, celebrate, mention, and remind. (Strong) It’s a public remembering, not only private, telling the story again and again so that everyone can honour the subject together.

And what is the story we tell? Why is it right and fitting for us to love him? What is the ultimate expression of his worth?

“And they sang a new song, saying, ‘Worthy are you to take the scroll and to open its seals, for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation, and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they shall reign on the earth.'”
(Revelation 5:9-10)

He is worthy because of the love expressed on the cross. He didn’t stop short of that, but gave everything. That’s what we love him for.

“And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name.”
(Philippians 2:8-9)

Tweet
Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares

Weekend Ambush

On By CaitlynIn Personal Updates1 Comment

Last weekend was absolutely splendidly NOT what I had planned. I was planning to go camping in Joshua Tree on Saturday with a few of my co-workers. From the start I wasn’t sure if I wanted to, because although I love these people and I could use a change of scenery, “roughing it” is rarely my cup of tea. I determined to go and enjoy it, though, so even when the plan fell through, I was proud of myself for at least refusing to be scared off.

Instead I spent my Saturday working the rock wall for the Christian camp. I’ve never properly worked ropes with the rec staff before, and I ended up loving it! By dinner time I was already thanking God that he had a better day planned for me than I had planned for myself, but he hadn’t even begun to surprise me. I let myself be talked into going to chapel in the evening when I heard that Tommy Green, the lead singer of Sleeping Giant who has a powerful ministry, would be speaking. I went with my roommate and sat through an hour of a student talent show. There was a definite amount of talent, and also a definite amount of… well. It was well worth it, though, because when Tommy came to the front, the first thing he did was pray for people in pain to be healed and the second thing he did was prophesy over some of the performers.

WHAT?!!! This might be pretty standard ministry in my usual circles, but at this camp? In the three years I’ve worked here, I have NEVER seen a single healing take place in that chapel, or a single prophecy be released (though granted I can’t claim to be there every time the doors are open). Not that God doesn’t move here or that the camp and its guests don’t believe in the gifts, we just don’t… tend to practice them very often.

I’ve spent so many hours over the past few years pacing the camp prayer chapel -and plenty of hours elsewhere too- praying for Holy Spirit to do crazy things in that chapel. I’ve tasted revival, and I am desperate for this camp, my home, to taste it too. Seeing what Tommy brought on Saturday was a beautiful down payment of the revival that I believe is coming.

But the night got better. Tommy’s message was about worship as warfare, and this generation releasing a new sound that literally shifts atmospheres, and the seven Hebrew words of praise, especially “tehila” spontaneous singing and “shabach” shouting, and how powerful dance is as an expression of worship… I could have closed my eyes and heard Jake Hamilton’s voice. (I actually just found out that Tommy has actually worked with Jake on the Voices conference Jake put on last year. So yeah.) I have never felt so completely in unity with what’s going on in that chapel as I did that night. Especially because after talking about free and powerful worship, the band came on stage and we DID IT for an hour and a half! My roommate and I ended up pushing back the chairs in the back of the room and dancing and worshiping and crying until we were completely overwhelmed. I haven’t worshipped that freely since… well, since the week I left IHOP. The two of us helped clean up the chapel and watched as the campers settled into small groups, then went back home and prayed together until we fell asleep. My heart was full to bursting with the sheer excitement of loving God and watching him move.

Sunday was quite amazing as well. I went with a friend to her church for my second visit. The church is called Tithemi and is actually led by Eric Gregson, a close friend of Tommy who is (was?) also in Sleeping Giant! Bam. Small world. This little church is a beautiful, grungy, passionate band of young tattooed believers who worship with full hearts and pray with abandon. That Sunday night I kicked off my sandals and started dancing during the song Divine Romance, and by the time we’d sung the chorus about ten times the worship leader asked anyone who wanted to dance to come do it on stage. So I went. And we all danced for several more minutes before Eric invited us all to return to our seats.

As I was sitting down, he started talking about how powerful worship is, and how powerful dance is, and how that first person to dance serves the community by providing a “covering” for everyone else’s awkwardness… in other words, that person sets the tone for how free the group is allowed to be. It was a huge blessing and confirmation for me, because I knew that I was the first person to start dancing that night, and because I have so often been told about how my dancing creates an atmosphere of freedom and worship for others.

Even when I know something, I love it so much when God remembers and tells me again. He sees me, he knows me, he enjoys me. And he’s using me through my simply enjoying him. I’m just being who I was created to be, and he’s encountering me and using it to bless people.

Also, I’m so grateful for the community I’m surrounded by. From the people I worked rec with, to the people I was in chapel with, to the people at Tithemi, I am so deeply blessed to get to be around like-minded people who love me and are going after the same things. I love them all, and I love my Father for giving them to me.

Oh… one more thing. On Wednesday at camp, I went into the prayer chapel to spend my break. The first thing I did was unwrap a Dove dark chocolate square.

And what did my wrapper say?

Be the first to hit the dance floor.

DSC00824
Prophetic Dove wrapper (torn and taped)
Tweet
Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares

The Road Home: The Birth of a Dream

On By CaitlynIn IHOPKC Life3 Comments

Hi, all. So it’s been nearly two months since my last post… my bad. I’ve been back working at my outdoor science school in the mountains of SoCal for about six weeks now. I love being here. I work with some completely amazing people who inspire me every single day. It definitely does feel like being home, and I’ve loved discovering what God has in store for me during this season.

I know I’ve been mentioning going back to Kansas City in the near future. Yep, I am going back in August to start IHOPU, even though when I started OTI I had ZERO intention of that happening! Here’s the story of how that changed.

One Tuesday morning in the internship, we had a class on Joel and what it says about the role of the church in the period of history in which Jesus returns. (Hint: our main role is to PRAY.) At one point, our teacher asked us to name different verses about the end-time praying church. We shouted out references like Revelation 22:17, Isaiah 42, and Luke 18:6-8, and like a diligent student I scribbled them all down in my notes.

That night in the prayer room, at about 11:30 pm, I decided to get started on my assigned meditation for the week, which was Luke 18:6-8.

“And the Lord said, ‘Hear what the unrighteous judge says. And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?'”
(Luke 18:6-8)

I didn’t even realise that it had been on the list in class that morning, so I looked it up and thought, “Oh, the parable of the persistent widow– I know this story. Pray persistently, I get it, yada yada… I guess I ought to do it properly, though.” So I started journaling through the passage phrase by phrase like I always did on my meditation verses. The first few phrases were simple enough, and I thought it was cool that the verse highlighted “day and night” prayer just like IHOP is dedicated to, but then I started getting confused.

“‘Speedily’?” I thought. “Since when does God ever do anything speedily? Okay, this is just motivation to keep praying, because from God’s perspective it’s speedy, even though from our perspective justice may take forever to come.” And then I got to “when the Son of Man comes,” and got even more lost. I’d read this verse hundreds of times before, and never understood why Jesus made this sudden abrupt reference to his return.

Then I thought, Oh snap, this just became an end-times verse, and it suddenly all made sense. When God stirs his church up to pray day and night, it is because he IS planning to do something speedily. This is the faith that he’s looking for when he comes.

And it suddenly hit me that this verse had been on the board that morning. I frantically dug out my notes, and there it was– end-time praying church, Luke 18:6-8.

As soon as all that clicked, I realised in shock,

This is our story. This is MY story!

This verse is the very reason I am sitting in this room right now!

I still love the way God blinded me to the reality of this verse for YEARS when it was staring me right in the face until the time was right to blow my mind personally and lead me into my calling. I am wholeheartedly convinced that in one way or another I’ll be a part of the house of prayer/praying church/forerunner movement for the rest of my life.

My immediate reaction was along the lines of, “This is what’s happening! Jesus is REALLY coming back REALLY soon and the very fact that the Spirit is stirring us up with faith to pray day and night means that he’s coming SPEEDILY to bring justice to the earth and HOLY CRAP I’m right in the middle of it!!!!” I wrote in my journal that night, “He is looking for his faithful elect who will cry out day and night for the return of the Son of Man, the Righteous Judge.”

And the path that was instantly crystal clear to me was to come back to Cali, work at camp for a while, while keeping up with IHOPU online, and then return to start Year 2 in the fall. I’ve been figuring out some of the details, but I haven’t deviated from that plan since.

I’ll be working at camp till the beginning of June, then do a summer program called SEEP to catch up and be ready for IHOPU in the fall. SEEP runs June 17 – August 9 and I would (95% sure) do it online from Rancho. It’s a pretty intense program, especially since it includes 8 hours/week of required prayer room time. I’d probably do as many of those hours as possible at The Refuge, my local house of prayer. I’d love to also pick up a very small part-time job, possibly at the restaurant I used to work at. I could do SEEP in Kansas City, but I feel that doing it at home would allow me to 1) save two months of rent money! 2) get involved with an actual local church community again, probably The Refuge, 3) “test-drive” the lifestyle in a more “normal” environment, 4) get actual HOP experience outside of IHOPKC, and 5) spend more time with my family who hardly ever see me anymore.

At IHOPU I’ll be part of the Forerunner School of Ministry (FSM) and during years 3 and 4, if I stay that long, I’ll be on the house of prayer leadership track. Theoretically, after that I’ll go… somewhere… and plant a house of prayer.

So there are a lot of things that still aren’t perfectly worked out, but for the next few months at least I have my trajectory, and I am confident that this is what God is leading me into.

I would very much appreciate your prayers for the details to all work out, for financial provision (I may end up doing support letters this time, once I really get into IHOPU), and for me not to miss what God has for me in the here and now, even as I’m looking forward to the next season.

Tweet
Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares

Home(s)

On By CaitlynIn IHOPKC Life1 Comment

I’m writing this from my living room couch in California. I graduated from OTI two weeks ago today, on December 16. That whole last week was… highly emotional, to say the least. I spent a lot of time with my beautiful core group, traipsed all over the mall with interns on a scavenger hunt, and experienced a wonderful last few nights in the prayer room.

Wednesday was always our favourite night, and God blew it up for us on our last Wednesday scheduled in the prayer room. We celebrated and enjoyed God’s presence together. Much laughter and dancing was involved. Our real last night in the prayer room was the following Tuesday, December 11. I ushered for the last time during the 8:00 p.m. set, or for the first part of it, at least. During the second intercession cycle the directors of the internship came up to the mic and prayed for us. All of the interns went into the aisles and people came and laid hands on us. Soon enough every one of us was bawling. I was mostly okay until Jordan Marcotte, one of our favourite worship leaders and a good friend of many of the interns,  played a song that had been written by one of the interns.

This is my family
Father who sits on the throne
Jesus Christ, Son of God
Holy Spirit
This is my family
No one can take my family
Thank you, Lord
Thank you, Lord
Jesus Christ

And of course even though the lyrics are about the Trinity being our family, in that moment I looked around at all of my interns crying, hugging, and praying, and thought, “This is my family.” And then the tears came and didn’t stop for quite some time.

Nearly six months with these people. The most spiritually intense season of our lives, and we spent nearly every waking moment together. We laughed and prayed and learned and questioned together. We prophesied over each other, prayed over each other, provoked each other onward in our faith… I consider every single one of them to be a most beloved friend.

Driving away on Sunday afternoon was the strangest thing. There were so many mercies in those final few days, though, that made saying goodbye easier. God was so good to us. (I’m pretty sure we’re his favourite internship ever. 😉 He loves us, individually and collectively, a whole freaking lot, and he loves to surprise us and play with us. But there are far too many stories of that to share right now.) The last week was structured so that we had plenty of opportunities to savour our relationships and to say goodbye thoroughly. Also, on the last day, a large handful of the interns went out to Olive Garden together after graduation, so we had that chance to hang out and share those strange first few hours as “former interns” together. Then even on the drive home I had my roommate with me until Phoenix, so it was a blessing I didn’t have to say goodbye to everyone all at once. She is wonderful. 🙂

Christmas with the family was delightful, of course, and I’m currently relaxing at home a bit, spending as much time with my family as possible, and preparing to go back to work camp early in January. I’m planning to work there through the rest of the school year, then move back to Kansas City sometime in the summer to start IHOPU.

I find myself in an interesting position these days. During my time in Kansas City, the area became very much home to me. I know the streets, I have my favourite shops, I have a heart for the UMKC campus, I found a home in the Boiler Room church, and I absolutely love the prayer room and the IHOP community. I felt a lurch in my stomach and a breaking off of a piece of my heart to leave it. Still, I know I will be back. I belong there, for one more season of my life at least.
Now I’m at home in Rancho Cucamonga with my family, where I’ve lived since 2001. My family is here, my church(es) are here, I’ve gone to school, performed in plays, and gotten in car accidents here… my world is more here than it is anywhere else. Rancho will always be my hometown no matter where else I go.

Then, next week I will be moving back up to my camp in the mountains. I’ve been a camper there many times since 5th grade, and I’ve been on staff since 2010. I’ve hiked those trails in every season and I know almost every inch of that property. I’ve had so many wonderful experiences there and made so many precious friendships. That’s my mountain. In KC, I was homesick for camp as much as I was for Rancho.

They say home is where the heart is… but my heart is in three completely separate places. At least that’s what it feels like most days.

In my more peaceful moments I remind myself of the home that I really belong to. I am on pilgrimage here. Rancho, KC, Crestline… ultimately it doesn’t really matter at all. None of these places are my home. The city I belong in is called the New Jerusalem, and that is where I will spend eternity with my Jesus. (Rev 21; Heb 12:22; Gal 4:26) I’m a foreigner in all of these places, because I was created for that heavenly city. He is where my heart is; his presence is my only home. One day I really will walk through those gates made of solid pearl (Rev 21:21) and never, ever have to leave.  In that moment, I will feel more at home than I ever have on earth.
Whether I’m in Rancho, KC, or up at camp, that’s where I belong. That’s the city my spirit is yearning for. Jesus is where my heart is. I am hidden in Christ , and his desire is for me to be with him where he is. (Col 3:3; John 17:24) I’m with him now, but I won’t be fully with him until that day when Christ who is my life appears and I appear with him in glory (Col 3:4), and we enter that glorious city together. So there’s a tension, the age old “already but not yet” of the kingdom. But the good news is that it has nothing to do with what corner of this planet I’m in. My anchor is there, not here. In him, I am always home.

Tweet
Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares

[Belated] Testimony Thursday: Cheesecake Factory

On By CaitlynIn IHOPKC Life

For the record, I really did write this on Thursday night, but haven’t been able to actually get online to post it till today. So the “today” referenced below really is Thursday. 😉

Tomorrow is the birthday of one of the girls in my core group. Since today is our day off, her roommates planned a full celebratory day for her, starting with lunch at the Cheesecake Factory and ending with a piñata and a party at her apartment. The whole internship was invited to go to lunch and then to hang out at the mall afterwards.

I found myself in a quandary. (I ought to get into quandaries more often…it’s such a fun word to say!) I’ve been praying a lot about evangelism and stepping out in faith more to prophesy and pray for healing, etc. I really wanted to take the opportunity to go evangelising on Thursday afternoon as I normally do, especially since I have so little time left to do it in this kind of environment. (Seriously. A MONTH AND A HALF LEFT.) But I also really wanted to celebrate my friend’s birthday with her and build a memory with a bunch of awesome people. So I finally decided to go to Cheesecake Factory, and I’m very glad I did. She was (mostly) surprised and we had a really fun time.

While we were waiting for our table to be ready, some of us decided to go evangelise in the area. I got super excited and was thanking God that I don’t have to be on a scheduled outreach to bring the Kingdom! We grouped up and spread out, but about ten minutes later the birthday girl showed up and we all went inside. My partner and I didn’t really have any opportunities, but two of the other guys prayed for two people in that ten minutes. (Can I just take a moment to say that my OTI guys are AWESOME. Most of them are like my little brothers. They constantly provoke me to love Jesus more.)

Even though it was a birthday party and not a planned outreach, when a bunch of on-fire young people get together in public eager to be used by God, he can’t resist the opportunity! We decided to prophesy over our server. She was so bubbly and friendly and helpful, we really wanted to bless her. A few of us got words for her, and she was really touched. She started sharing a few things that were going on in her boyfriend’s family that have really been difficult for her. And God met her in the middle of her workday with the truth that he loves her and his eye is on her. It was a very special and fun thing to be used by God in. (And we all left generous tips, don’t worry.) I want to keep praying that God keeps encountering her and wooing her heart!

Today was special for me because it reminded me that I really can be a conduit of the Kingdom anywhere I go. I don’t have to choose between outreach and birthday party—literally anywhere is prime ground for the Kingdom to break out! This is just a tiny taste of what it’s supposed to be like.

God, give me eyes to see what you’re doing, ears to hear what you’re saying, and the faith and boldness to follow up and step out. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Tweet
Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares

Testimony Saturday: Art Museum and the Edge of Hell

On By CaitlynIn IHOPKC Life1 Comment

Sorry this is a bit late to be a proper Testimony Thursday, but I decided I wanted to wait and put the testimonies from Thursday and Friday up together.

On Thursday I went on outreach for the first time in three weeks. (Two weeks ago we all had to be at a conference, and one week ago we were all on midterm break.) We decided to visit the Nelson Atkins Museum of Art to evangelise. It wasn’t exactly the ideal spot, but we did have a few awesome divine appointments. I wandered around with two other interns. We ended up spending forty minutes talking to an 80-year-old Catholic security guard. We gave him a few prophetic words and he was very encouraged and amazed that we could actually hear God speak to us! In his theology only the saints could do that. We talked to him for about 45 minutes and he was so blessed and encouraged. He is a gem, so faithful to God in his workplace and in his family.

Last night we were at the EGS service at FCF before our outreach to the Edge of Hell haunted house district in Kansas City. I have to start with what happened at FCF because it was freaking incredible. During worship, one of the leaders got a prophetic word that God wanted to break the spirit of oppression off of people. People started speaking out to get free from stuff, because the power of life and death is in the tongue, and spiritual warfare isn’t done quietly in “receiving” mode. I prayed for the girl next to me and prophesied over her (which is something I don’t often do during services, but I was getting all fired up for outreach later and I decided I might as well jump into partnership with Holy Spirit a little early!). Then we all started singing in tongues for a good 30 minutes or so. Praying in the Spirit is powerful, guys. Heaven was coming into that auditorium.

I believe God ambushed that service just for the 60 or so of us who were going to Edge of Hell. He empowered us and prepared us in a very unique way, and the other thousand or so in the room got to reap the side benefits of God having his eye on us. We all got SO stirred up and filled and ready to rock when we had to leave towards the end of worship to jump on our bus. And then we proceeded to loudly pray and sing all the way there.

IHOP has been going for several years to this area to do outreach, and for several weeks this year alone. Last night was a bit more complicated than usual because there was a mix-up with where our bus was supposed to take us, so instead of assembling at the missions base to brief and then going to Edge of Hell inconspicuously, we showed up in the parking lot downtown in our big school bus. The police of course noticed us immediately and told us we had to stay outside the blocked off areas where the actual haunted houses were. This cramped our style a bit, but God wasn’t the least bit shocked or intimidated, so we spread out and started talking to people.

I was with one of the IHOP evangelism staff, Josh MacDonald and a couple of other interns. We considered breaking the rules and going beyond the barrier anyway, but eventually decided that wasn’t our direction, so we started walking along the street and ran into a free hot chocolate station a local church had set up! We talked to them for maybe ten minutes, prayed for them, and healed a guy’s ankle. His foot had been cut OFF in an accident some time ago and reattached at the hospital, then divinely healed so there was no pain, but the pain had been creeping back in. Josh prayed and commanded that thing to be healed, and ten seconds later, the guy was jumping up and down with a big smile on his face. Hallelujah. That same guy actually prophesied over me before we left. He had the name “Caitlyn” in his head before I even introduced myself, and the words he gave me were totally dead on and really encouraging.

A while later, we went into a vintage shop several of us really felt drawn to. It was an cool little place, very artsy and unique, but also quite covered in intense Halloween freakiness and we definitely sensed some very dark spirits. We wandered around checking out the antiques and praying for a couple people, but still not sure what God had for us. One of the interns suddenly remembered that God had given him a dream of this very shop two years ago. Eventually we met a woman who worked there and it soon became clear that she was why we were there. She was a Christian and she had been hit by a car a number of years ago, and the entire lower half of her body was still out of whack. We prayed a couple times and the pain wasn’t leaving, then Josh got a word of knowledge that one of her legs was shorter than the other. She readily acknowledged this to be true, so we sat her down and commanded the right leg to grow. It did–too far! (This is a fairly common occurrence when legs grow out, by the way. God likes to play.) So we then commanded the left leg to grow to match it. (I have to say that even though I’ve seen legs grow out a good dozen times or so, I can’t always actually clearly see the difference. This time was CLEAR.)

The woman was very encouraged and we prayed for her again. My roommate and I prophesied over her, and the woman started crying and sharing her story. She’s been through so much, but she’s not bitter and she’s a powerful light in dark places. She amazes me. It was past closing time when we left and we were the only ones in the store, but before letting us out she sang us a beautiful song about loving sacrificially like Jesus. Heaven touched earth, I tell you. Here in this dark shop where hell had a stronghold, light was shining brightly.

Our group wasn’t the only one that saw God move. There were a lot of healings and several people really considering giving their life to Jesus. [EDIT: Actually, from what I later heard, at least 7 people actually DID get saved that weekend!!] This is a Facebook status from an intern:

Went to the Edge of Hell Haunted Houses tonight and met a woman who had a headache and stomach pain and both were completely healed. Then she looked up at me and told me she was 100% blind and after I prayed she was seeing light and movement for the first time ever and she said the pressure and pain behind her eyes was completely gone! Come on!!!!! Hallelujah!

Amen. God is good! He uses ordinary people to touch a desperate world with power and love.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”
(John 1:5)

Tweet
Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares

Midpoint Update

On By CaitlynIn IHOPKC Life

Hi, all! Sorry it’s been a couple weeks since I last blogged… I haven’t really known what to write about. I’ve been journaling a lot, but so much feels like things I’m still processing internally and not quite ready to share yet.

We just had our midterm break, and it was relaxing and delightful (as well as productive!) but I’m really happy to be back in the regular schedule again.

Halfway through. More than. I leave Kansas City in less than two months.

I’m not sure that’s really sunk in yet. I’ll be glad to see my family again, but I will miss sooooo much about this place… the people, the prayer room, the learning, the freedom, the like-mindedness, the stretching… I don’t know what I’m going to do when I go home and life just goes on, business as usual. I’ve had plenty of times in my life when I get all fired up and then “real life” sets in, and I just sort of… dull down. I can’t let that happen. I WON’T let it happen. When I came here, I felt like I was giving up so much, and this was my “wilderness” season. Ha. This is the sweet season of abundance.

Misty Edwards sang an oracle last night (what I like to call a “prophetic shpiel”) that went something like, “Don’t look back and waste your life remembering the good old days. Nostalgia will kill you.” I pocketed that one, because I guarantee I’ll need it in about two months. I don’t want to spend my time in Cali moping and/or trying to recreate IHOP. Ain’t gonna happen. Good news is… Holy Spirit doesn’t just live in Kansas City. This place is on his heart in a very special way, but guess what… so is California. I don’t need to worry about losing everything I’ve learned and experienced here, because it is a part of me. The DNA of my soul has been rewritten.

I have been sensitised to recognise when I’m starting to get dull, and I have a bucketfull of simple, practical tools to combat it, and a track record that says I know how to use them and I know they actually work. I don’t have to be in the prayer room to intercede, fast, pray in the spirit, meditate, or sing the Word. All I have to do is carve out a little bit of time and space and lift my eyes.

The things that are so easy to believe at IHOP are equally true elsewhere. The things God is doing in this generation are global. He’s raising up a praying church to sing back the King… and Kansas City isn’t living in some alternate reality bubble where that’s only true here. If it’s true here, it really is true EVERYWHERE.

However… I’m also increasingly getting the feeling that my season here isn’t over yet. (I’ll tell that story in a later blog, because it’s still just in the beginning stages right now. [EDIT: HERE it is!]) I’m starting to make plans for coming back, but a lot of things will have to line up in order to make that happen. I’d appreciate your prayers for direction and provision as I begin to step into the next season of my life.
God is so, so faithful. Every day I find myself recounting to myself the stories of how he’s met me and provided for me in the past. He sees me, he knows me, and money has never been an issue for him. If he wants me back at IHOP, he WILL provide. And I get to partner with him in that by giving in faith that his promises are true. That’s just how the Kingdom works.

Tweet
Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares