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I’ve been following Jackie Hill Perry on social media (Twitter, Instagram) for about a year and have fallen in love with her boldness, zeal for holiness, awe at the gospel, and all-consuming love for Jesus. She’s a rapper and spoken word artist (her album Crescendo came out last year and is straight FIRE) as well as an author and speaker.
Part of her testimony is that she used to identify as a lesbian and pursue same-sex relationships. I’ve heard pieces of her story before in various videos, and she has earned my respect enough that I was eager to pick up her first book, Gay Girl, Good God. (I actually put it on my Christmas list and then broke down and bought it on Kindle early!)
In addition to my respect for Jackie, I knew I needed to read this because I have LGBTQ-identifying friends, both those who call themselves Christian and those who do not, and I also have SSA (Same-Sex Attracted) Christian friends who love Jesus and are saying no to that aspect of their sexuality. Plus, I know that there will be a time when the issue becomes even more personal. When will a family member come out as gay? When will I find myself discipling a new believer wrestling with SSA or gender identity? I can’t avoid this. I need to be listening to the stories of those who have lived those experiences and come out making Jesus supreme over their temptations, with a fierce love for Him and a robust theology of gender, sexuality, and most importantly, the simple gospel. This book is all of that and more.
The first thing I was struck by is how dang poetic this book was. Clearly, Jackie’s wordsmithery and penchant for descriptors that captivate the imagination aren’t confined to performance poetry. 50 pages in, I texted a friend that it was probably the most the most poetic non-fiction book I had ever read. (The style reminded me a bit of Tosca Lee’s Havah, easily the most poetic fiction I have ever read.) I also loved the frequent quotations of C. S. Lewis. Never a bad choice.
“Who I was made more sense when I was with him. He was a different mirror. With him, I could see where I’d gotten things my mama didn’t own. I enjoyed every minute with this inconsistent relative I called ‘Daddy,’ until he started using words that I didn’t believe belonged to him, like, ‘I love you.’ That sentence was too big to fit in his mouth.”
Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry, chapter 4
Jackie is transparently honest about her history of hurt from men, her early discovery of her same-sex attraction, her love for her girlfriend, her surrender to God’s relentless pursuit, and the struggles and temptations she has faced on the journey of the renewal of her mind–aka, the same sanctification process we must all go through.
I especially loved the final chapter, “The Heterosexual Gospel”. It reminded me a lot of the thoughts in an article I wrote about a while ago. (What I’m Reading: “I Never Became Straight. Perhaps That Was Never God’s Goal.”)
“The ‘heterosexual gospel’ is one that encourages SSA men and women to come to Jesus so that they can be straight or that coming to Jesus ensures that they will be sexually attracted to the opposite sex…
“What could be implied from those who preach the ‘heterosexual gospel’ is that our sexuality is all that God cares about. I am convinced that this thinking has kept many SSA men and women from experiencing the beauty of true repentance…
“For the unbeliever that is SSA, God is not mainly calling them to be straight; He’s calling them to Himself. To know Christ, love Christ, serve Christ, honor Christ, and exalt Christ, forever.”
Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry, chapter 17
To me, this is not mostly a book about sexuality. It’s a story of transformation, not from gay to straight, but from enemy of God to lover of God. It’s a story of the goodness of God and the radical, jealous love of Jesus that envelops, consumes, and reworks everything for His glory. Jackie celebrates Jesus in every syllable and loves Him in every line.
“In my becoming Holy as He is, I would not be miraculously made into a woman that didn’t like women; I’d be made into a woman that loved God more than anything.”
Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry, chapter 8
As I read Gay Girl, Good God in the prayer room, I was swept up into the glory of what God has done in her life. In the afterward, Jackie said it was an act of worship to write this book, and it felt like an act of worship to read it.
You can pick up Gay Girl, Good God on Amazon.
