Guess what – I spent last week in Texas! I flew out to be part of The Prayer Room’s annual staff retreat, and it was a very welcome time of refreshing and re-envisioning.
On Friday we drove out to a huge retreat house on a farm. We spent the weekend playing games (Farkle, Pit, and Silent Football are always huge hits!), eating food, and generally enjoying each other’s company as a family. We also did some teambuilding games (which may or may not have drawn out the spirit of competition moreso than cooperation!), toasted marshmallows around a bonfire while retelling funny stories from the early days of the ministry that have become community classics, and met in the living room every morning and evening for prayer, discussion, vision casting, and individual encouragement.
Teambuilding. We were connected in a long line with our ankles tied together.Twinning with my dear friend and fellow IHOPU grad Rhoda!The dice game Farkle was a favourite pastime. I’m in the plaid on the right behind Brad. In my first game I didn’t get ANY points, and in my second game I got over 8000.While we were gone, IHOPU sent one of its best student worship teams to run our prayer room and our Saturday night service. God bless these guys for keeping the fire on the altar and serving with such joy and faithfulness!
I am so, so blessed to be a part of this family. I love that God has allowed me to visit five times since I finished my externship there last year. Next time I’m back in January, it will be to STAY!! God has entrusted The Prayer Room with a powerful mandate to build night and day prayer and worship until His return, and I’m so excited and honoured that He has invited me to join them.
This is a crew of people who passionately and sacrificially follow the call of God and pour out everything for His glory. They honour Him and each other so well, even in the midst of deep struggles that would tear many other ministries apart. The humility and zeal for truth I’ve seen in this community provoke me frequently to step up my game and lean on Jesus more and let Him transform me into His likeness. I’m eternally grateful that in calling me to leave all I have known in California, my Father has given me these people as family.
(Keep scrolling and then keep scrolling some more, because I’ve got a lot of pictures for you today!)
I’ve finally graduated from college for the second time… but this time feels far more significant than when I got my bachelor’s from APU in 2010. At IHOPU, I have received invaluable teaching and discipleship in an environment saturated with prayer, worship, and the Word. I’ve caught a vision for what God is doing in raising up a global prayer and worship movement in our generation. I’ve gained a family passionately devoted to the fame of Jesus being spread throughout the earth. I’ve been equipped to teach, lead, prophesy, pray, sing, and serve. Most importantly, I’ve encountered a God who is stunningly incredible in every way, who is 100% committed to me and really likes me, and who actually does stuff when I talk to Him.
Last weekend, I walked across a stage with 82 other four-year graduates. My parents flew out from California to see me, and a few local friends came to the ceremony as well.
Graduating from IHOPU feels bittersweet. I did what I set out to do and I know that my season here is done, and I really feel like I got good fellowship and closure in the final days, but I will miss this place and these people greatly.
Receiving my diploma from Allen Hood, president of IHOPUMy parents flew all the way from California to see me!Abigail, my roommate and dear friend
In my small group during my last week, my leaders asked us each to summarise what God was teaching us during that past season. As I think back over the four years I’ve been in IHOPU, I can identify separate banners over each year.
Freshman year: VISION
During my freshman year, I started as an intern in the One Thing Internship. Not only did I grow in prayer and intimacy with Jesus, but the entire rhythm and focus of my life shifted. I blogged about this vision that was growing within me several times (HERE and HERE, for starters), and concluded that season with a conviction that God really is raising up a global movement of 24/7 prayer and worship in our generation, because the darkness is getting darker but the return of Jesus is right around the corner, and He WILL have a bride made ready.
Internship graduation, freshman year
Sophomore year: GRACE.
Now that I had a brand new idea of what my life was supposed to look like, I struggled to live up to it. I really wanted to pursue Jesus with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength with undistracted focus, but I was constantly in cycles of condemnation feeling like I was failing. I still don’t know if I’ve found a good balance, but I have a lot more peace now than I did then. I had to keep relearning grace every week.
Small group, sophomore year
Junior year: HEALING
After experiencing a heartbreak the week before school started, I had to walk through a LOT of healing that year. (Find my blogs reflecting on that season HERE and HERE.) It was a time of shattered emotions and many, many tears, but I encountered the tender heart of the Father who lets me just cry in His lap when I can’t even muster the energy to pray. I learned to love Him more as I fought to trust Him every day. It hurt like hell, but there was such a tender nearness during that time–and there did finally come a progressive breakthrough into freedom and joy. I am wiser, stronger, and more open-hearted because of the events of that year, I wouldn’t trade any of it for anything.
JPR worship team, junior year
Senior year: LEADERSHIP
In between my Dallas externship and College Station ministry trip (read about those HERE and HERE), I feel like this year has been about taking ownership of what I’ve learned and stepping up to do something with it. God has grown a lot of confidence in me this year, and I’ve come to realise that even though I have so much more to discover and grow in, I actually have internalised a lot and I have something to offer in ministry. I really can preach and pray and prophesy and lead worship. I really can rally, envision, and organise a team. God called me into this thing, and He’s already given me enough tools to take a few steps and get going.
Dallas externship, senior year
In my final few weeks, I’ve thought a lot about the vision God planted in me during my first year. I really do believe it. I believe that God’s deepest desire is a restoration of perfect intimacy with us, and 24/7 prayer and worship that reflects the reality of heaven is a key part of how we’re going to get there. I believe that in this final era of history, God is raising up a new song of night and day worship and intercession for justice from the Church as His lovesick bride in every corner of the earth, and He will use this global worship movement to usher in the return of Jesus and the restoration of creation.
It’s a big vision, but I’m fully bought in.
So what’s next? I’ll be home in California for the rest of the year, preparing to launch into full-time ministry at The Prayer Room in January 2017 (read more about that HERE). I plan to be there indefinitely, which doesn’t necessarily mean forever, but no matter what comes next, I know God is writing my story and more importantly, He’s writing me into His story.
Every time I look back and remember how God has led me, I melt in awe and gratitude. He’s been so, so good to me.
Catch me up in Your story All my life for Your glory –“All Is For Your Glory” by Lisa Gotshall
Silly TPR staff send-off at the end of my externship.
You heard right, and this is NOT a drill — by this time next year I expect to be on full-time missionary staff with The Prayer Room!!
I’ve been sitting on this announcement for months, wanting to make sure that it was really God’s calling. At this point I’m 99.3% sure that it’s happening… who am I kidding, I can’t imagine myself anywhere else.
As you probably know, I spent all of last semester serving as an extern at The Prayer Room (TPR) in Arlington, TX, which is right in between Dallas and Ft. Worth. While I was there I fell so in love with that house of prayer. Their heart and their vision for 24/7 prayer until Jesus’ return is exactly in line with the passions God has placed in my heart, and their beautiful community has made me feel like a lifelong family member since day one.
I didn’t plan to go back after my externship, but once I got the idea in my head sometime in September, I couldn’t get it out. My heart has been knit to that community, and I want to labour alongside them to build 24/7 prayer and to equip the Body of Christ to be with Jesus where He is. I’ll be doing some of the same things I did there before – worship leading, administrative tasks (possibly as Community Life assistant again), and I’m sure a lot more as well.
There are really four specific things that stand out to me about TPR:
The prayer room itself. I’ve never known another house of prayer that takes its prayer room more seriously. There’s a stubborn refusal to let the fire go out no matter what! I’ve heard so many stories of two people rotating hour by hour through snowstorms when no one else could get to the building, beginning piano students thrown into worship leading when no one else could get there, even playing guitar in a closet when the police showed up! They take their mandate of 24/7 prayer very seriously.
The community.TPR is a family. Most of the community has lived in someone else’s house or opened up their house at one point or another. They really do walk with each other through every kind of joy and sorrow. They hang out constantly and laugh a lot. Night and day prayer is FUN when you do it with your best friends.
The end times.When God called me into the prayer movement, He got me in with the vision of how He is raising up 24/7 prayer in this generation to prepare the church and the world for the events surrounding Jesus’ return. I can’t imagine doing this without that understanding as foundational. TPR has a strong emphasis on understanding the end times and its relationship to the prayer movement. Not every house of prayer has that emphasis (and God may not be calling them to emphasise it!) but for me, this was very important.
Teaching. I believe I have some level of a teaching gift on my life, and part of TPR’s vision is to raise up and equip teachers of the Word. They once had a Bible school and hopefully will again soon, and they want to be a regional training centre with as much influence and reach as God will give them. This would the perfect place for me to learn and grow and spread my wings as a teacher.
I will graduate from IHOPU in May, and then I’ll go home to California for a while to focus on raising financial partnership. Depending on how that goes, I may move to Dallas as late as January 2017 – which would allow me to spend the holidays with my family!
I’ve moved around a lot the past few years, but this will be the first time I’ve moved away from home indefinitely. It’s a huge transition, but I know in my gut I belong there.
In September, while I was an extern at The Prayer Room (TPR), the ministry turned ten. In 2005, God gave a clear and dramatic word to TPR’s director, Brad Stroup, in his living room that said, “Start a daily prayer meeting tomorrow morning at 5am and don’t stop until I come back.” It was the kind of word that you do NOT question or disobey. So next morning at 5am, Brad and a few loyal friends held a prayer meeting in his living room. Eventually they added more daily prayer meetings throughout the day… and they moved out into another building… and another building… and another building… and today they are running 18 hours a day, 7 days a week of live prayer and worship in their OWN magnificent new missions base!
So technically, the anniversary was in September, and we dedicated a Saturday night Encounter service to it at that time, but since we expected to get into our new building any day at that time, we decided to hold off and celebrate the two milestones together in one properly epic event. It ended up taking a lot more time than expected to get into the building, so the combined event wasn’t held until Saturday, February 27.
I drove down to Dallas that weekend with my classmate Chris, who had also been an extern at TPR. On Saturday we enjoyed a lunch event in the prayer room that was mostly attended by core community members, featuring trivia, videos, stories, and much laughter. In the afternoon I was asked to step in as worship leader for the 3-5pm set–luckily I had my music notebook and lots of experience leading devotional sets on the fly!
That evening at 5:00 the Saturday night Encounter service was properly joyful, memorable, inspiring, and sacred. God has been so, so faithful to this community of worshipers and intercessors.
I’m so glad Chris and I got to drive down for this event. Even though many IHOPers were invited, we were the only ones from Kansas City who could make it! Being there in the new prayer room that I invested so much prayer (and paint!) into with my beloved TPR family felt like coming home.
Brad with four generations of externs (and a photobomb)!Brad speaking at The Prayer Room’s 10th anniversary celebration IN OUR BEAUTIFUL BRAND NEW PRAYER ROOM!!!Leading a devotional worship set in the new prayer room on Sunday morning.(…Did I mention we have a new prayer room?!)
“Nothing’s sad till it’s over. Then everything is.”
~Doctor Who, “Hell Bent”
I’m going to miss this view.
I am finally at the end of my externship in Texas at The Prayer Room DFW. I worship led my last set this morning. We have our staff Christmas party tonight, then packing all day tomorrow before Encounter service, and leaving early on Sunday morning to arrive home in California on Monday night. I’ll spend about five weeks at home over the holidays before returning to Kansas City for my final semester in IHOPU.
As you know if you’ve been following my other recent blogs, I love The Prayer Room. A lot. I feel more bonded to the people and vision at this place than possibly anywhere I’ve ever been. It feels a bit like when I worked at camp for three years… but there, I was still an on-and-off seasonal employee, most of the staff was transitory as well, and even though it was a Christian camp, our days did not necessarily consist of pursuing God together. It feels so weird to be leaving a place where almost all of the community is deeply rooted and we’ve literally made it our job to pray together. Even at IHOPKC, the community isn’t this tight-knit and rooted. I’m the only one leaving right now, and life will continue as usual without me… except not, because God is doing some big things around here. We’re going to be getting into our new building very soon, with lots of exciting changes related to that. And I won’t be here for it.
This is hardly my first time feeling my heart tear as I leave a place. It’s not even my first time blogging about it. The only way I know how to deal with painful goodbyes is to remember that Jesus goes with me, and He alone is my true home.
Yesterday (after watching the aforementioned Doctor Who season finale in which we said drawn-out traumatic goodbyes to beloved characters, which of course only exacerbated my emotional fragility) I was finding a lot of comfort in Psalm 139.
“Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.”
(Psalm 139:7-10)
“Even there Your hand shall lead me.” I love that promise. No matter how far I go, God will lead me. He is my Good Shepherd, and He will never leave me or forsake me. He is exactly the same in California as He is in Texas or Missouri.
Every year, the staff of The Prayer Room goes on a weekend retreat together somewhere out in the country. Many call it the highlight of the year, and after being privileged to participate this year, I can see why. All 30(ish) of the staff (full-time, part-time, and volunteer) spent the entire weekend together eating, sharing stories, playing games (I got to introduce some of them to Pit!), shooting guns, making s’mores, praying, teasing, laughing… it was a wonderful time of refreshing and reenvisioning for all of us. The tight-knit friendships in this group are amazing, and I am so honoured to get to spend this season calling these people my family.
Yes, I did.Staff hang time!
While we were gone, IHOPU sent one of its best student worship teams down to Texas from Kansas City to keep the prayer and worship going in our prayer room while 90% of the people who sustain daily operations were out of town. They were amazing! They were so willing to serve and really blessed by the opportunity. Several of them said afterwards that those little sets in an empty room were the best worship experiences they’d ever had. We were all so grateful for these guys.
“Team R&R” rocked the house for us all weekend!
Also, here’s another $$ testimony…
As you may remember from my previous post, we’re in the process of remodeling a new building to house the ministry and are getting hit with one roadblock after another. God has given us two $50,000 anonymous cash donations on two separate occasions, but every time we turn around there’s another thing that needs fixing and another exorbitant city requirement and another reason to delay the process. Most recently, the city slapped us with some heretofore unmentioned fire code requirements that will cost us at least $30,000. This put us at a standstill yet again, and we redoubled our prayers for God to break in – to change the requirement, give us the money, or preferably both.
Last week, our director Brad and his wife discovered a package on their doorstep containing $40,000. In cash. Anonymously.
Merry Christmas, TPR.
HALLELUJAH.
This is exactly what we need to move forward on the remodel project and get into our new home as quickly as possible!!
The waiting sucks, but God always breaks in, and He always does so spectacularly.
People have said to me, “It’s too bad you weren’t here to see the base back before everything was so hard!” But you know what? I wouldn’t trade this season for the world. In times of hardship is when you get to see what a people is truly made of. I have seen this community cling to faith and joy, keep the fire on the altar no matter what, and intercede relentlessly for breakthrough. They have kept loving and serving and blessing and welcoming others, even when their strength feels almost gone. They have kept loving and trusting Jesus, even when the circumstances look impossible.
This is a family I am deeply honoured and delighted to journey with. And I’m super excited to help finish remodelling the building and eventually celebrate the move-in with them!
If you’ve been wondering what it looks like to be an extern at The Prayer Room, wonder no longer! In a nutshell, my week consists of 24 hours of sacred trust in the prayer room, 12 hours of service, and 10 hours of class time. Here’s what any given week pretty much looks like for me:
My week at a glance.
MONDAY is my longest day. I’m at the base for over 12 hours. I’m in the prayer room 9:00 to 11:00 for my first sacred trust set of the day, then I spend an hour doing some admin work, then I have a lunch break during which I usually like to practice piano. From 1:00 to 3:00 I work on my IHOPU classes, then the last six hours of my day are spent in the prayer room. I usher the 3:00 and 5:00 sets (which consists of greeting guests, leading rapid fire prayer, and relieving the worship leader if they need to step out), then I lead worship for the 7:00 intercession set for the ending of abortion.
Monday night intercession set for the ending of abortion.
TUESDAY begins for the first six hours the same as Monday: prayer room, admin, lunch, class. At 3:00 I lead worship for a devotional set, in which I play piano and sing by myself for two hours. (TPR has a loop pedal, so I can rest my fingers as often as I like!) I always spend at least one 15 minute chunk of that time singing through a passage and meditating on it through spontaneous singing. At 5:30 we have staff meeting, which is a really important time to connect about how things are going for the base and what God is saying to us as a corporate body, as well as to handle announcements and admin stuff. At 7:00 I have small group with four other lovely ladies! We have a great time hanging out, laughing and praying together.
Small group
WEDNESDAY is my day off. Sometimes I hang out with people in Fort Worth or just do stuff around the house. Now that Doctor Who is back for series nine, I have a weekly date with Lauren to watch the newest episode. 🙂
Texas State Fair!!
THURSDAY begins at 9:00 with singing on a “worship with the Word” team using the harp and bowl model. We’ve been singing through Song of Solomon 1:2-4 and I love it! Then I have an admin meeting with the woman I’m assistant to, then lunch and class time. At 3:00 I go into the prayer room, and I worship lead a devo at 5:00.
FRIDAY I section lead the mid section. A full day in the prayer room is divided into three sections: 5:00-11:00 am, 11:00 am-5:00 pm, and 5:00-11:00 pm. The section leader doesn’t have to be in the room the entire time unless they have a concurrent responsibility such as ushering or worship leading, but they are the primary point person for anything that happens during that period. On Friday afternoons, it’s usually three of us (Me, Caslin, and Lisa) rotating as usher and worship leader for all three sets. I worship lead at 11:00, I have class time at 1:00, and I usher at 3:00. At 5:00 I have my externship meeting with Lisa, the staff member serving as my supervisor. Lisa is amazing at asking me how all facets of the externship are going and answering my questions. She’s been using this time to go over the staff manual with me and explain in detail some of the base policies, so I have deeper understanding on a practical level of how to run a house of prayer.
SATURDAY begins with sleeping in a little bit before my sacred trust in the prayer room starts at 11:00. Around 1:00 I go over to the new building to help Brad remodel it until 3:30 (or sometimes 5:00). It’s a veeerrryyyyy slow process, but it’s coming along! At 6:30 I head to the prayer room for Encounter service! Brad always teaches on something related to the end times, and I often do the slides for worship. People often go out to eat together afterwards.
This will become the prayer room!Weekly Saturday night Encounter service.
SUNDAY I have sacred trust in the prayer room from 11:00 t0 1:00. Since the church we rent from is doing their own Sunday service at this time, we move our prayer room to the small multi-purpose room to keep the fire on the altar. At 1:00 I’m supposed to have class time, but as often as I can, I try to squeeze these two hours in earlier in the week so I can have the afternoon free. Finally, my week wraps up with church at Forerunner Fellowship from 4:00 to 6:00. Brad pastors a small church mostly composed of prayer room people that meets at another church building. We keep this church as organisationally separate from The Prayer Room as possible; Forerunner Fellowship is a staunch supporter of everything The Prayer Room does, but The Prayer Room will never mention or promote Forerunner Fellowship.
And that’s what a standard week as an extern looks like at The Prayer Room! I really could not have chosen a better location to do my externship. I love the hearts here for prioritising the prayer room as our number one ministry, for training and investing in others to strengthen and sustain the prayer movement, and for building community together more genuinely than anywhere I’ve ever been. TPR is a beautiful, beautiful place, and it is my honour to be a part of it.
At The Prayer Room, anyone who can play a few chords and is willing pretty quickly becomes a worship leader. That’s the nature of a small house of prayer. Many of us are in that boat, including me. Others… WOW. One guy in particular is crazy talented. Like, dang. He’s basically TPR’s Matt Gilman. I would confidently throw him up on a Onething conference stage in front of 30,000 people and he would rock the house no problem.
And yet, day after day he’s playing and singing in an empty room in a rented church in Arlington, Texas.
One day while I was in his set (I was literally ushering an empty room) I was blown away by this picture of hiddenness. He wasn’t holding back or singing halfheartedly because his audience was lacking. He wasn’t singing for any audience but One. As God started showing me what He sees in this moment, I almost felt like I was intruding on something private and sacred.
The great heavenly chorus of “HOLY HOLY HOLY” pales in comparison to the way one human voice lifted in an empty room captivates Jesus’ heart.
There really is such a beauty in hiddenness. There’s a purity in undistracted worship–in secret faithfulness.
“And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”
(Matthew 6:4, 6, 18)
It reminds me of David’s years of preparation, singing to the Lord alone while watching his father’s sheep. I think God cherished those songs even more than He did the songs that came out of David’s amply-staffed 24/7 tabernacle later on.
And of course, it reminds me even more of Jesus–who was in the very form of God yet emptied Himself to take the form of a servant. (Philippians 2:5-11) He hid his own glory so thoroughly for 33 years–and especially for the first 30 before His ministry began. Even today, He hides Himself. He who will one day split the sky and appear in the clouds like lightning flashing from the east to the west (Isaiah 64:1, Matthew 24:27-30) goes unnoticed and unconsidered by billions of people every single day.
Many of us feel hidden right now. Many of us feel like we have something to offer, and we’re stuck in a back corner somewhere, because it’s not our season yet.
Guess what. If you love Jesus well in the corner, He’ll treasure it forever. He may have been the one who put you there. Maybe He wants your undistracted gaze just a little while longer. It’s a beautiful thing to be alone in an empty room singing to Jesus. All the best leaders in history did their time in obscurity… and many of the most faithful ones, whose names we’ll never know until heaven, spent their whole lives in hiddenness. What kind of glory are they swimming in now?
Holy hiddenness is a beautiful thing, because you can lock your heart fully on Jesus and know He’s the one who hears your song. He’s the one who counts your secret faithfulness as a personal offering of love. It doesn’t matter whether anyone else ever sees you. He sees, and He loves every moment.
“It’s the joy of being lovesick…” Lauren worship leading the 7-9pm set on a Thursday night.
