Spring Break in Dallas!!

I’m currently writing this from The Prayer Room, which is kind of my favourite prayer room in the world. My friend Lauren is leading worship right now.

I drove down on Saturday with my classmate Rachel, who did her externship about 3 hours south of Dallas at College Station House of Prayer and left her heart there just as I left mine in Dallas. She dropped me off in Dallas and continued down to spend the week in College Station, and she’ll pick me up on Sunday so we can drive back to Kansas City!

Lauren leading worship. "I am Yours, I am Yours, all my days, Jesus, I am Yours..."
My view right now of my friend Lauren leading worship. “I am Yours, I am Yours, all my days, Jesus, I am Yours…”

I’m staying with four of my good friends, whose house I hung out at all the time when I lived here last year. They’re being wonderful about giving me rides, since I left Idris in Kansas City.

For me, this is a lovely break from IHOPU, because if I stayed in Kansas City there’s a high likelihood that I would do basically nothing except watch more Netflix than is good for me, and be more burned out at the end of the week than when I started. In Dallas, I’m having the chance to hang out with some of my favourite people in the beautiful Texas weather (we explored downtown yesterday and it was 86 degrees so I WORE SHORTS!!), plus I’m getting the chance to serve quite a bit! A lot of their people are sick or out of town right now, so I’ve had lots of opportunities to lead worship and usher in the prayer room.

Leading devotional worship sets is always so sweet for me. This week I’ve been singing one of my original songs called Never Regret, which goes:

I’ll never regret the time I spend with You
I’ll treasure the time getting to know You, God
I’ll never be put to shame
You are worth our songs, You are worth it all
You are worth our time, You are worth it all
Wisdom will be justified when I see Your face
Wisdom will be justified, it was not in vain

I’ve been thinking about 1 Corinthians 3:12-15, which speaks of our works in this life being like either precious stones that will last forever, or wood and hay that will be burned away. God rewards choices that honour Him, and other choices result in a loss of potential rewards. I’m only given a handful decades at the most in this life. I want to spend every minute I can on something that’s worthwhile and will last for eternity.

Choosing to “waste” my time worshipping Jesus is the best decision I could make. When I look back over my life, I’ll never regret the choice to spend my spring break loving Him. It may look like foolishness to the world, but it’s actually wisdom.

I’m so grateful for this time of refreshing and fellowship with my Dallas family. Next week I’ll return to Kansas City to finish my last quarter as an IHOPU student!

The Prayer Room DFW’s 10th Anniversary!

In September, while I was an extern at The Prayer Room (TPR), the ministry turned ten. In 2005, God gave a clear and dramatic word to TPR’s director, Brad Stroup, in his living room that said, “Start a daily prayer meeting tomorrow morning at 5am and don’t stop until I come back.” It was the kind of word that you do NOT question or disobey. So next morning at 5am, Brad and a few loyal friends held a prayer meeting in his living room. Eventually they added more daily prayer meetings throughout the day… and they moved out into another building… and another building… and another building… and today they are running 18 hours a day, 7 days a week of live prayer and worship in their OWN magnificent new missions base!

So technically, the anniversary was in September, and we dedicated a Saturday night Encounter service to it at that time, but since we expected to get into our new building any day at that time, we decided to hold off and celebrate the two milestones together in one properly epic event. It ended up taking a lot more time than expected to get into the building, so the combined event wasn’t held until Saturday, February 27.

I drove down to Dallas that weekend with my classmate Chris, who had also been an extern at TPR. On Saturday we enjoyed a lunch event in the prayer room that was mostly attended by core community members, featuring trivia, videos, stories, and much laughter. In the afternoon I was asked to step in as worship leader for the 3-5pm set–luckily I had my music notebook and lots of experience leading devotional sets on the fly!

That evening at 5:00 the Saturday night Encounter service was properly joyful, memorable, inspiring, and sacred. God has been so, so faithful to this community of worshipers and intercessors.

I’m so glad Chris and I got to drive down for this event. Even though many IHOPers were invited, we were the only ones from Kansas City who could make it! Being there in the new prayer room that I invested so much prayer (and paint!) into with my beloved TPR family felt like coming home.

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Brad with four generations of externs (and a photobomb)!
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Brad speaking at The Prayer Room’s 10th anniversary celebration IN OUR BEAUTIFUL BRAND NEW PRAYER ROOM!!!
Sunday devo
Leading a devotional worship set in the new prayer room on Sunday morning.
(...Did I mention we have a new prayer room?)
(…Did I mention we have a new prayer room?!)

Deliver Me

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A few weeks ago, I posted about my car’s breakdown and having to choose joy in the midst of stress. Here’s the sequel to that episode and what God was teaching me in it.

Idris broke down on Sunday, February 14, (happy Valentine’s Day to me) and was in the shop until Saturday, February 20. It took the mechanic a while to figure out what was wrong with it, so for almost a week, I had no answers — and no car.

The Tuesday of that week in my Desert Spirituality class (we’re studying the Egyptian Coptic monks of the 4th and 5th centuries) my teacher posed a challenge: Meditate on one verse for a week. This was the verse assigned:

“Make haste, O God, to deliver me!
O Lord, make haste to help me!”
(Psalm 70:1)

I admit, although I undertook the challenge enthusiastically, at first I couldn’t really connect with it. David was asking the Lord for deliverance from men who were trying to kill him. Being unable to relate to that situation and feeling pretty secure in most areas of my life, I wrestled with the question, “What do I need deliverance from?”

On Friday, while walking from my piano lesson back to the prayer room, I got a call from my mechanic. Long story short, my catalytic converter was blocked and needed to be replaced ($600) but this was only a symptom of a larger untraceable problem and the blockage would only build back up over time (six months to two years) and possibly damage more things along the way, sooooo… his advice was that I start looking for a new car.

GREAT news to hear on a Friday morning!

I sat down in the prayer room, opened my journal to where I had started to write about Psalm 70:1, and thought wryly, “Welp, I know what I need deliverance from now.”

But in the next moment, I knew it wasn’t my car situation itself that I needed deliverance from. It was my attitude about my car situation.

I needed deliverance from fear. Worry. Distrust. The enemies I was fighting were all internal.

Crazy how I get the most revelation and encounter when I’m suddenly in some sort of desperate situation… when I suddenly realise how much I need Him.

At noon, right at the beginning of her set in the prayer room, Erica Jensen started singing a song by Audrey Assad that has recently become very dear to the entire IHOPKC community since Audrey sang it at Onething. (You can watch the set HERE, and you can even see me in the front row. It’s kind of weird to watch the exact moment God was impacting my heart!)

From the love of my own comfort
From the fear of having nothing
From a life of worldly passions
Deliver me O God
From the need to be understood
From the need to be accepted
From the fear of being lonely
Deliver me O God
Deliver me O God
And I shall not want, I shall not want
When I taste Your goodness I shall not want
When I taste Your goodness I shall not want
–“I Shall Not Want” by Audrey Assad

It was exactly what I needed to hear.

That night, Misty Edwards sang the exact same song at Encounter God service. It was a powerful moment. Even Misty was choking up and had trouble finishing the verse. (You can watch that set HERE. The song starts around 33 minutes.)

Lord, deliver me from fear of not having what I need. Deliver me from trying to figure things out on my own. You are my shepherd, and I shall not want. I lack nothing with You. I rest in Your presence and provision.

Enjoy Audrey Assad singing I Shall Not Want at Onething 2015:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqtVmC9Gt8g

Epilogue: I paid for the repair and got Idris back on Saturday, February 20. I’ve been driving her gently ever since (except that one time I drove to Dallas last weekend…) and she’s been behaving very nicely for me.

Download: Guest appearance on the UnCommon Christianity show

benotcommon.com
benotcommon.com

Last Tuesday, I was given the opportunity to speak on the UnCommon Christianity internet radio show. This is a weekly two-hour program hosted by some old friends of mine, and they’ve discussed all kinds of theological and cultural topics over the years. This week’s topic was spiritual warfare, and I was invited to discuss how prayer and worship relate to spiritual warfare. I’m not normally the go-to person for spiritual warfare, but I certainly have a thing or two to say about prayer!

I spent two hours on the air with them discussing prayer, worship, IHOPKC, the harp and bowl model, and “soaking” worship. We even spent a bit of time discussing some of the most common accusations against IHOPKC. I was really nervous, but Andy, Nathan, and Kim made me feel so at home on the air and I really enjoyed sharing my heart and my experiences with them.

The two-hour broadcast (my favourite part is in the first hour) is available for streaming or download on the show’s website at the link below.

listen UCC 2
Click here to listen or download!

YWAM Week of Prayer

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IHOPU students praying in the YWAM Kansas City chapel!

During our monthly Global Bridegroom Fast (GBF) week February 1-5, IHOPU continued a tradition we started last semester: the YWAM week of prayer, in which IHOPU partnered with the local YWAM base to keep a prayer room running with live worship and intercession all day long for five days. All of our JPR (the student-led Justice Prayer Room) activities were moved to YWAM Kansas City, and being in that prayer room counted for our regular prayer room hours. Classes were cancelled for GBF, so I got to spend hours every day at the YWAM base. On Tuesday I ended up being there for 8 hours straight, and Wednesday night I ended up leading a devotional worship set 11pm-midnight with only one other person in the room. It felt like I was back in my little prayer room in Dallas!

This was a really special and refreshing time for me. Especially on Tuesday when I left my phone at home, I was completely locked into the worship and intercession with no distractions. I really, really love smaller prayer rooms, especially when I know almost everyone in the room. During the times I was there, most of the people in the room were IHOPU students while the YWAM students had other activities scheduled, and almost all of them were actively engaged nearly the whole time. It felt very much like praying with family. This is why I love our JPR sets, and getting to do this in partnership with YWAM was incredibly precious.

We spent the week praying for YWAM’s mission team being sent to the island of St. Vincent. As part of a 7+ year plan to reevangelise and disciple the nations of the Caribbean, they are aiming at preaching the gospel to 50,000 people (half the island’s population) during the month of February with 21 evangelistic event nights. It was such a privilege to join with YWAM and see yet another beautiful collision of the missions movement and the prayer movement.

This is what Jesus said is supposed to happen. “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.” (Matthew 9:37-38) The praying and the sending were never supposed to be separated.

Download: Partnering with God in Intercession teaching

During my last week at home in California, I was invited to speak at a four-hour prayer event held at Grace Awakening Ministries church in Hesperia in partnership with Desert House of Prayer in Barstow, where I spoke last summer. I spoke on partnering with God in intercession, emphasising Jesus as our eternal intercessor and high priest, and His desire for us to be a people who would agree with Him in prayer for His purposes on the earth.

This church was hosting this sacred assembly together with DHOP to simply cry out for the Holy Spirit to move in their region. They also spent some time focusing on praying for Israel, recognising the importance of the Church joining with Jesus’ desire that His own people would come to know Him. They were short a worship leader and were going to just play the IHOPKC webstream for an hour, but luckily with my externship experience I was able to jump up on the keyboard with no preparation and lead an hour of devotional worship. (Live worship is almost always preferable, no matter the skill level!)

One of my favourite things about ministry is the opportunity to travel and see what God’s doing in churches and prayer rooms all over the place. I’d never been to this church in Hesperia before, but as soon as I walked in the room it felt like family. I love the way prayer unifies us as a Body!

As with most of my previous teachings, I have both the audio and the outline of my teaching available below!

MP3 teaching – Partnering with God in Intercession teaching 1-11-16
PDF notes – Partnering with God in Intercession teaching notes

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAchbwXJDpM/?taken-by=fragrancearise

Staff Retreat– and $40,000!!!

Every year, the staff of The Prayer Room goes on a weekend retreat together somewhere out in the country. Many call it the highlight of the year, and after being privileged to participate this year, I can see why. All 30(ish) of the staff (full-time, part-time, and volunteer) spent the entire weekend together eating, sharing stories, playing games (I got to introduce some of them to Pit!), shooting guns, making s’mores, praying, teasing, laughing… it was a wonderful time of refreshing and reenvisioning for all of us. The tight-knit friendships in this group are amazing, and I am so honoured to get to spend this season calling these people my family.

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Yes, I did.
staff retreat
Staff hang time!

While we were gone, IHOPU sent one of its best student worship teams down to Texas from Kansas City to keep the prayer and worship going in our prayer room while 90% of the people who sustain daily operations were out of town. They were amazing! They were so willing to serve and really blessed by the opportunity. Several of them said afterwards that those little sets in an empty room were the best worship experiences they’d ever had. We were all so grateful for these guys.

"Team R&R" rocked the house for us all weekend!
“Team R&R” rocked the house for us all weekend!

Also, here’s another $$ testimony…

As you may remember from my previous post, we’re in the process of remodeling a new building to house the ministry and are getting hit with one roadblock after another. God has given us two $50,000 anonymous cash donations on two separate occasions, but every time we turn around there’s another thing that needs fixing and another exorbitant city requirement and another reason to delay the process. Most recently, the city slapped us with some heretofore unmentioned fire code requirements that will cost us at least $30,000. This put us at a standstill yet again, and we redoubled our prayers for God to break in – to change the requirement, give us the money, or preferably both.

Last week, our director Brad and his wife discovered a package on their doorstep containing $40,000. In cash. Anonymously.

40,000
Merry Christmas, TPR.

HALLELUJAH.

This is exactly what we need to move forward on the remodel project and get into our new home as quickly as possible!!

The waiting sucks, but God always breaks in, and He always does so spectacularly.
People have said to me, “It’s too bad you weren’t here to see the base back before everything was so hard!” But you know what? I wouldn’t trade this season for the world. In times of hardship is when you get to see what a people is truly made of. I have seen this community cling to faith and joy, keep the fire on the altar no matter what, and intercede relentlessly for breakthrough. They have kept loving and serving and blessing and welcoming others, even when their strength feels almost gone. They have kept loving and trusting Jesus, even when the circumstances look impossible.

This is a family I am deeply honoured and delighted to journey with. And I’m super excited to help finish remodelling the building and eventually celebrate the move-in with them!

Nationwide Corporate HOP Fast

Recently, IHOPKC called a three-day time of prayer and fasting, to focus corporately on praying for breakthrough in our regions and nation. Many of the larger houses of prayer in the nation have committed to join them, and so for the past three days we’ve all been fasting together for God to move. Many of us are focusing specifically on breakthrough in the prayer movement. The corporate nature of this fast is so powerful (and so much fun!). The Prayer Room‘s leadership team and many of the staff are gathering in the prayer room 9am-5pm Monday,Tuesday, and Wednesday to cry out together. Also. I’ve been seeing many of my friends in Kansas City as well as at houses of prayer across the nation post pictures of their prayer rooms interceding together.

“Blow the trumpet in Zion; consecrate a fast; call a solemn assembly.” Joel 2:15

This is an unprecedented movement of unity within the prayer movement. Many of the leaders have been texting each other updates and encouragements from our respective prayer rooms. Private prayer is powerful, but there’s something unique about God’s people gathering together in unity to fast and pray.

I felt this fast impact my heart personally as well. On today, the final day, which is normally supposed to be my day off, I decided to come and do a full 18 hour day in the prayer room. The corporate fasting hours were from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 pm., but the prayer room opens at 5:00 a.m. and closes at 11:00 p.m, and today I was there for all 18 hours.

5:00 a.m. intercession for houses of prayer.
5:00 a.m. intercession for houses of prayer.

I arrived at about 5:05 a.m. (I know, boo, I missed the opening prayer!!) and was one of a whopping four people in the room for the morning intercession set (or rather “petition set”, which around here is like a mini intercession set). Shockingly, I had so much joy and grace in waking up at 4:00 a.m., and I loved the sweetness of “awakening the dawn with my song”–not because I had to, but because I chose to. I got to pray on the mic for the houses of prayer across the nation, and looking at the list of locations on the screen, I actually felt connected to many of them. I have friends in several locations and I’ve heard stories about almost all of them. Knowing that they were also praying and fasting with us during these three days made the connection all the sweeter.

Corporate prayer is a beautiful, beautiful thing. This fast has made me so grateful for the community I’m in – at TPR, at “home” in Kansas City, and more broadly in the global prayer movement as a whole. God really knew what He was doing when He told us to gather and do this thing together. There is a rich sweetness and power in lifting our voices and crying out to our Father together.

This 24/7 prayer movement is the dream of His heart. All of these houses of prayer belong to Him. He will build His house, and the gates of hell will not prevail against it.

“For from the rising of the sun to its setting my name will be great among the nations, and in every place incense will be offered to my name, and a pure offering. For my name will be great among the nations, says the LORD of hosts.”
(Malachi 1:11)

“These I will bring to my holy mountain, and make them joyful in my house of prayer; their burnt offerings and their sacrifices will be accepted on my altar; for my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples.
(Isaiah 56:7)

A Week in the Life of an Extern

If you’ve been wondering what it looks like to be an extern at The Prayer Room, wonder no longer! In a nutshell, my week consists of 24 hours of sacred trust in the prayer room, 12 hours of service, and 10 hours of class time. Here’s what any given week pretty much looks like for me:

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My week at a glance.

MONDAY is my longest day. I’m at the base for over 12 hours. I’m in the prayer room 9:00 to 11:00 for my first sacred trust set of the day, then I spend an hour doing some admin work, then I have a lunch break during which I usually like to practice piano. From 1:00 to 3:00 I work on my IHOPU classes, then the last six hours of my day are spent in the prayer room. I usher the 3:00 and 5:00 sets (which consists of greeting guests, leading rapid fire prayer, and relieving the worship leader if they need to step out), then I lead worship for the 7:00 intercession set for the ending of abortion.

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Monday night intercession set for the ending of abortion.

TUESDAY begins for the first six hours the same as Monday: prayer room, admin, lunch, class. At 3:00 I lead worship for a devotional set, in which I play piano and sing by myself for two hours. (TPR has a loop pedal, so I can rest my fingers as often as I like!) I always spend at least one 15 minute chunk of that time singing through a passage and meditating on it through spontaneous singing. At 5:30 we have staff meeting, which is a really important time to connect about how things are going for the base and what God is saying to us as a corporate body, as well as to handle announcements and admin stuff. At 7:00 I have small group with four other lovely ladies! We have a great time hanging out, laughing and praying together.

small group
Small group

WEDNESDAY is my day off. Sometimes I hang out with people in Fort Worth or just do stuff around the house. Now that Doctor Who is back for series nine, I have a weekly date with Lauren to watch the newest episode. 🙂

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Texas State Fair!!

THURSDAY begins at 9:00 with singing on a “worship with the Word” team using the harp and bowl model. We’ve been singing through Song of Solomon 1:2-4 and I love it! Then I have an admin meeting with the woman I’m assistant to, then lunch and class time. At 3:00 I go into the prayer room, and I worship lead a devo at 5:00.

FRIDAY I section lead the mid section. A full day in the prayer room is divided into three sections: 5:00-11:00 am, 11:00 am-5:00 pm, and 5:00-11:00 pm. The section leader doesn’t have to be in the room the entire time unless they have a concurrent responsibility such as ushering or worship leading, but they are the primary point person for anything that happens during that period. On Friday afternoons, it’s usually three of us (Me, Caslin, and Lisa) rotating as usher and worship leader for all three sets. I worship lead at 11:00, I have class time at 1:00, and I usher at 3:00. At 5:00 I have my externship meeting with Lisa, the staff member serving as my supervisor. Lisa is amazing at asking me how all facets of the externship are going and answering my questions. She’s been using this time to go over the staff manual with me and explain in detail some of the base policies, so I have deeper understanding on a practical level of how to run a house of prayer.

SATURDAY begins with sleeping in a little bit before my sacred trust in the prayer room starts at 11:00. Around 1:00 I go over to the new building to help Brad remodel it until 3:30 (or sometimes 5:00). It’s a veeerrryyyyy slow process, but it’s coming along! At 6:30 I head to the prayer room for Encounter service! Brad always teaches on something related to the end times, and I often do the slides for worship. People often go out to eat together afterwards.

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This will become the prayer room!
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Weekly Saturday night Encounter service.

SUNDAY I have sacred trust in the prayer room from 11:00 t0 1:00. Since the church we rent from is doing their own Sunday service at this time, we move our prayer room to the small multi-purpose room to keep the fire on the altar. At 1:00 I’m supposed to have class time, but as often as I can, I try to squeeze these two hours in earlier in the week so I can have the afternoon free. Finally, my week wraps up with church at Forerunner Fellowship from 4:00 to 6:00. Brad pastors a small church mostly composed of prayer room people that meets at another church building. We keep this church as organisationally separate from The Prayer Room as possible; Forerunner Fellowship is a staunch supporter of everything The Prayer Room does, but The Prayer Room will never mention or promote Forerunner Fellowship.

And that’s what a standard week as an extern looks like at The Prayer Room! I really could not have chosen a better location to do my externship. I love the hearts here for prioritising the prayer room as our number one ministry, for training and investing in others to strengthen and sustain the prayer movement, and for building community together more genuinely than anywhere I’ve ever been. TPR is a beautiful, beautiful place, and it is my honour to be a part of it.

The Beauty of Hiddenness

At The Prayer Room, anyone who can play a few chords and is willing pretty quickly becomes a worship leader. That’s the nature of a small house of prayer. Many of us are in that boat, including me. Others… WOW. One guy in particular is crazy talented. Like, dang. He’s basically TPR’s Matt Gilman. I would confidently throw him up on a Onething conference stage in front of 30,000 people and he would rock the house no problem.

And yet, day after day he’s playing and singing in an empty room in a rented church in Arlington, Texas.

One day while I was in his set (I was literally ushering an empty room) I was blown away by this picture of hiddenness. He wasn’t holding back or singing halfheartedly because his audience was lacking. He wasn’t singing for any audience but One. As God started showing me what He sees in this moment, I almost felt like I was intruding on something private and sacred.

The great heavenly chorus of “HOLY HOLY HOLY” pales in comparison to the way one human voice lifted in an empty room captivates Jesus’ heart.

There really is such a beauty in hiddenness. There’s a purity in undistracted worship–in secret faithfulness.

“And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”
(Matthew 6:4, 6, 18)

It reminds me of David’s years of preparation, singing to the Lord alone while watching his father’s sheep. I think God cherished those songs even more than He did the songs that came out of David’s amply-staffed 24/7 tabernacle later on.

And of course, it reminds me even more of Jesus–who was in the very form of God yet emptied Himself to take the form of a servant. (Philippians 2:5-11) He hid his own glory so thoroughly for 33 years–and especially for the first 30 before His ministry began. Even today, He hides Himself. He who will one day split the sky and appear in the clouds like lightning flashing from the east to the west (Isaiah 64:1, Matthew 24:27-30) goes unnoticed and unconsidered by billions of people every single day.

Many of us feel hidden right now. Many of us feel like we have something to offer, and we’re stuck in a back corner somewhere, because it’s not our season yet.

Guess what. If you love Jesus well in the corner, He’ll treasure it forever. He may have been the one who put you there. Maybe He wants your undistracted gaze just a little while longer. It’s a beautiful thing to be alone in an empty room singing to Jesus. All the best leaders in history did their time in obscurity… and many of the most faithful ones, whose names we’ll never know until heaven, spent their whole lives in hiddenness. What kind of glory are they swimming in now?

Holy hiddenness is a beautiful thing, because you can lock your heart fully on Jesus and know He’s the one who hears your song. He’s the one who counts your secret faithfulness as a personal offering of love. It doesn’t matter whether anyone else ever sees you. He sees, and He loves every moment.

Lauren worship leading the 7-9pm set on a Thursday night.
“It’s the joy of being lovesick…” Lauren worship leading the 7-9pm set on a Thursday night.