The Call: Azusa Now

 

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(Credit: Luke18)

Earlier this month, I boarded a bus in Kansas City with 100 other IHOPU students (well, we had two buses) and drove 32 hours straight to Los Angeles, CA to participate in The Call: Azusa Now on April 9, and then re-boarded the bus again the next morning to drive 32 hours straight back to Kansas City. Talk about a whirlwind weekend!

Azusa Now is a massive prayer gathering organised by Lou Engle to rally this generation to cry out for revival like the Azusa Street revival of 1906. This was my first experience at one of The Call events, and I was blown away by the power and presence of God.

  • Racial reconciliation and church unity was a huge theme. Leaders from Native American, Hispanic, African American, Messianic, and Catholic communities were onstage publicly honouring each other and repenting for lack of unity.
  • Bethel, IHOPKC, Circuit Riders, and many others led worship.
  • So many leaders in the church and missions were on stage with Lou Engle – Heidi Baker, Bill Johnson, Loren Cunningham, Daniel Kolenda, Todd White, and many more, including my very own home pastor Danny Carroll from Water of Life!!
  • Gloria Engle and Andy Byrd both gave powerful calls to say “yes” to the call for missions.
  • People stood up from wheelchairs, hearing loss was restored, brain cancer was healed, and much more!
  • Shawn Bolz called out accurate prophetic words of knowledge from the stage to specific people in the stadium. Watch the video HERE.

We were all so stirred up on the way home. Tired as we were, we still evangelised at every gas station and held impromptu Bible studies, worship sessions, and prophetic ministry to each other in our vans. We touched God’s desire to sweep this nation with revival, and we actually started to believe it was possible.

Beyond the public move of God that we all experienced that day, the event touched me very personally. Some of these leaders and ministry styles were ones I first connected with years before I came to Kansas City, in my early days of learning to move with the Holy Spirit. I even got to see some of the California friends and leaders in my life who used to run with me in those days. In that stadium, I found myself stirred again to embrace a lifestyle of prayer for revival along with boldness in healing, prophecy, and evangelism. That passion is a precious gift that I cannot afford to let fade.

The first 12 hours of the 15 hour event are available to watch on Youtube if you missed the live stream:

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We got special passes down onto the field. (Credit: Luke18)
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IHOPU students crying out in the rain. (Credit: John DeBeeld)
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IHOPU students ministering to an attendee. (Credit: John DeBeeld)
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Todd White releasing faith and fire! (Credit: John DeBeeld)
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Native American believers prophetically playing traditional drums. (Credit: John DeBeeld)
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National and global ministry leaders uniting around the cross. (Credit: AzusaNow2016)
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My home pastor Danny Carroll (white shirt) praying on stage with Jack Hayford and Lou Engle. (Credit: Me!)
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Testimony from my new friend Rebekah.

Your College Semester Explained by Bible Verses

If “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable…” (2 Timothy 3:16), let’s see how it might be applied to the experience of a typical college semester. Happy finals, everyone!

When you decide to just “wing it” on your big presentation:

When they deliver you over, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say, for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour. (Matthew 10:19)

Then you realise you don’t know what you’re doing and you’re not making sense:

And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom… (1 Corinthians 2:3-4)

When the professor actually expects you to read the recommended texts:

Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. (Philemon 1:21)

When that one student in your class turns in a paper twice as long as yours:

Then they asked Baruch, “Tell us, please, how did you write all these words?…” (Jeremiah 36:17a)

When the class know-it-all decides to bless us all with their wisdom yet again:

…I will show you, for I have yet something to say on God’s behalf… For truly my words are not false; one who is perfect in knowledge is with you. (Job 36:2, 4)

When that one person tries to answer questions without having done the reading:

Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge? (Job 38:2)

And so the professor decides the whole class gets a pop quiz:

Dress for action like a man; I will question you, and you make it known to me. (Job 36:3)

When one person in the group project screws up the grade for everyone:

The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” (Genesis 3:12)

When the professor’s lecture is taking FOR. EV. ER.:

And a young man named Eutychus, sitting at the window, sank into a deep sleep as Paul talked still longer. And being overcome by sleep, he fell down from the third story and was taken up dead. (Acts 20:9)

When studying may very well kill you:

…Of making many books there is no end, and much study is a weariness of the flesh. (Ecclesiastes 12:12)

…He who increases knowledge increases sorrow. (Ecclesiastes 1:18)

…Festus said with a loud voice, “Paul, you are out of your mind; your great learning is driving you out of your mind.” (Acts 26:24)

When you get your grade back:

For you write bitter things against me and make me inherit the iniquities of my youth. (Job 36:26)

When you’re just holding on till break:

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion… (Philippians 1:6)

I press on toward the goal for the prize… (Philippians 3:14)

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison. (2 Corinthians 4:17)

When you throw responsibility to the wind and hang out with friends till 3 a.m. right before finals:

And behold, joy and gladness, killing oxen and slaughtering sheep, eating flesh and drinking wine. “Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die.” (Isaiah 22:13)

When somehow you pull off a decent grade without studying:

The Jews therefore marveled, saying, “How is it that this man has learning, when he has never studied?” (John 7:15)

When the week before finals hits and suddenly ALL THE THINGS are due:

…For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death… (2 Corinthians 1:8-9)

But then the professor cancels or delays a major assignment:

For you have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling; (Psalm 116:8)

When you finish a class you didn’t actually care about:

Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. (Isaiah 43:18)

When you submit your last assignment and can taste the sweet, free air of break:

…The LORD has anointed me… to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound. (Isaiah 61:1)

…neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. (Revelation 21:4)

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. (2 Timothy 4:17)

If you enjoyed this, check out my post 11 IHOP Words IHOPers Use in Normal Conversations.

Intentionally Resting Well

Yesterday was a good day.

First (and this is very important) I wore a beautiful new long flowy skirt I got on discount for $13 (originally $100). I love it. (I realised AT CHURCH it still had the security tag attached, but with a bit of cleverness I managed to get it off at home later… so that was an exciting start to my day.)

I went to the early service at church and even though I was late and missed most of worship, I got to hear a wonderful message from Rick Joyner.

I spread out my outdoor throw blanket on the grass in my backyard amid the dandelions and started reading a new novel by one of my favourite authors. (The Calling by Rachelle Dekker, everyone. Check it out.)

Did I mention that it was 69° F and sunny at that time??

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My happy place.

I spent three hours at the home of Erica and Jacob, the leaders of the Kid City 7 sidewalk Sunday school outreach I volunteer at. They invited all of the volunteers over for a delicious lunch and even more delicious fellowship. I had a wonderful heart-to-heart with one girl for almost an hour (this is how introverts party hard), then went outside in the beautiful weather and played with the world’s cutest baby.
In the evening, I met with my College Station ministry trip team for some more vision-casting and logistical stuff. It was really good to talk and pray with them. (I even met a girl I have connections with from home!) The trip is only two weeks away and I’m so excited for what God is going to do!

It’s been a while since I’ve taken the time for a really good refreshing Sabbath. I spend so much time either a) getting stuff done, or b) procrastinating getting stuff done. (Wanna guess which I do more of?) Unfortunately, procrastinating usually looks like scrolling through social media or watching videos online.

I think I need to relearn how to rest well.

For me to rest well, I personally need a good combination of friends, food, laughter, fresh air, grass, sunshine, solitude, books, creativity, and/or worship. Ideally, definitely worship.

As a matter of fact, my favourite part of the day was when I lay on the grass, set down my book, and lay with my face to the sun just thinking about the nearness of God and allowing myself to be the wide-eyed child again.

Yesterday I actually chose to set aside some of my to-dos not to aimlessly procrastinate, but to actually get refreshed. I’ll always have more stuff to do. The to-dos never really end. But if I don’t intentionally take time to rest and refresh, I’m going to burn out and end up forgetting who I am.

I am not my to-do list.

I am not my ministry.

I am not my education.

I’m Caitlyn. I’m the daughter and the beloved of God. I love sunshine and books and creating. I’m essentially the same person today as when I first fell in love with Jesus, and I still need those sweet moments–to put aside an agenda and just be myself with Him–just as much today.

College Station Ministry Trip Update

“College Station? Weren’t you going to Houston?”

Well, yes, Houston was the original plan two months ago. However, so many changes have occurred in the planning process that it’s almost an entirely different trip.

When I came on leadership for the trip, a certain church in Houston was planning on hosting us. Unfortunately, the pastor is fighting cancer, and he and his wife were no longer able to work with us. We spent nearly two months getting in contact with other churches and houses of prayer in the city with whom we have relationship and who would ordinarily be thrilled to host us. However, one location after another wasn’t able to host due to various extenuating circumstances.

As things have now (finally!) landed, we’re taking our ministry trip to College Station, Texas! We’ve sent ministry trips to there in the past to work with College Station House of Prayer (CSHOP), and the staff there is wonderful. Most of their ministry is centred around Texas A&M University, and they host 8am prayer meetings every weekday on campus.
CSHOP
Our vision for the trip is still centred around “hope and healing” for the local body of Christ, with a special emphasis on youth groups. We’re planning to visit and minister at several small churches in College Station, as well as an urban youth ministry called Save Our Streets. We’ll also spend lots of time connecting with CSHOP and their prayer room, as well as their prayer and outreach activities on the A&M campus.

The number of roadblocks we’ve encountered in this process is unprecedented for this type of trip. We’re all convinced that God is planning something BIG for this week of ministry.

The trip is April 16-24 — only two weeks away! We’ve been frantically trying to land the logistics and budget the past few weeks, but I think I can say now that everything is falling into place. I am so excited for the opportunity to go serve what God is doing in College Station!

Announcement: I’M MOVING BACK TO DALLAS!

Silly family send off at the end of my externship
Silly TPR staff send-off at the end of my externship.

You heard right, and this is NOT a drill — by this time next year I expect to be on full-time missionary staff with The Prayer Room!!

I’ve been sitting on this announcement for months, wanting to make sure that it was really God’s calling. At this point I’m 99.3% sure that it’s happening… who am I kidding, I can’t imagine myself anywhere else.

As you probably know, I spent all of last semester serving as an extern at The Prayer Room (TPR) in Arlington, TX, which is right in between Dallas and Ft. Worth. While I was there I fell so in love with that house of prayer. Their heart and their vision for 24/7 prayer until Jesus’ return is exactly in line with the passions God has placed in my heart, and their beautiful community has made me feel like a lifelong family member since day one.

I didn’t plan to go back after my externship, but once I got the idea in my head sometime in September, I couldn’t get it out. My heart has been knit to that community, and I want to labour alongside them to build 24/7 prayer and to equip the Body of Christ to be with Jesus where He is. I’ll be doing some of the same things I did there before – worship leading, administrative tasks (possibly as Community Life assistant again), and I’m sure a lot more as well.

There are really four specific things that stand out to me about TPR:

  1. The prayer room itself. I’ve never known another house of prayer that takes its prayer room more seriously. There’s a stubborn refusal to let the fire go out no matter what! I’ve heard so many stories of two people rotating hour by hour through snowstorms when no one else could get to the building, beginning piano students thrown into worship leading when no one else could get there, even playing guitar in a closet when the police showed up! They take their mandate of 24/7 prayer very seriously.
  2. The community. TPR is a family. Most of the community has lived in someone else’s house or opened up their house at one point or another. They really do walk with each other through every kind of joy and sorrow. They hang out constantly and laugh a lot. Night and day prayer is FUN when you do it with your best friends.
  3. The end times. When God called me into the prayer movement, He got me in with the vision of how He is raising up 24/7 prayer in this generation to prepare the church and the world for the events surrounding Jesus’ return. I can’t imagine doing this without that understanding as foundational. TPR has a strong emphasis on understanding the end times and its relationship to the prayer movement. Not every house of prayer has that emphasis (and God may not be calling them to emphasise it!) but for me, this was very important.
  4. Teaching. I believe I have some level of a teaching gift on my life, and part of TPR’s vision is to raise up and equip teachers of the Word. They once had a Bible school and hopefully will again soon, and they want to be a regional training centre with as much influence and reach as God will give them. This would the perfect place for me to learn and grow and spread my wings as a teacher.

I will graduate from IHOPU in May, and then I’ll go home to California for a while to focus on raising financial partnership. Depending on how that goes, I may move to Dallas as late as January 2017 – which would allow me to spend the holidays with my family!

I’ve moved around a lot the past few years, but this will be the first time I’ve moved away from home indefinitely. It’s a huge transition, but I know in my gut I belong there.

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Worship leading in my prayer room.

Spring Break in Dallas!!

I’m currently writing this from The Prayer Room, which is kind of my favourite prayer room in the world. My friend Lauren is leading worship right now.

I drove down on Saturday with my classmate Rachel, who did her externship about 3 hours south of Dallas at College Station House of Prayer and left her heart there just as I left mine in Dallas. She dropped me off in Dallas and continued down to spend the week in College Station, and she’ll pick me up on Sunday so we can drive back to Kansas City!

Lauren leading worship. "I am Yours, I am Yours, all my days, Jesus, I am Yours..."
My view right now of my friend Lauren leading worship. “I am Yours, I am Yours, all my days, Jesus, I am Yours…”

I’m staying with four of my good friends, whose house I hung out at all the time when I lived here last year. They’re being wonderful about giving me rides, since I left Idris in Kansas City.

For me, this is a lovely break from IHOPU, because if I stayed in Kansas City there’s a high likelihood that I would do basically nothing except watch more Netflix than is good for me, and be more burned out at the end of the week than when I started. In Dallas, I’m having the chance to hang out with some of my favourite people in the beautiful Texas weather (we explored downtown yesterday and it was 86 degrees so I WORE SHORTS!!), plus I’m getting the chance to serve quite a bit! A lot of their people are sick or out of town right now, so I’ve had lots of opportunities to lead worship and usher in the prayer room.

Leading devotional worship sets is always so sweet for me. This week I’ve been singing one of my original songs called Never Regret, which goes:

I’ll never regret the time I spend with You
I’ll treasure the time getting to know You, God
I’ll never be put to shame
You are worth our songs, You are worth it all
You are worth our time, You are worth it all
Wisdom will be justified when I see Your face
Wisdom will be justified, it was not in vain

I’ve been thinking about 1 Corinthians 3:12-15, which speaks of our works in this life being like either precious stones that will last forever, or wood and hay that will be burned away. God rewards choices that honour Him, and other choices result in a loss of potential rewards. I’m only given a handful decades at the most in this life. I want to spend every minute I can on something that’s worthwhile and will last for eternity.

Choosing to “waste” my time worshipping Jesus is the best decision I could make. When I look back over my life, I’ll never regret the choice to spend my spring break loving Him. It may look like foolishness to the world, but it’s actually wisdom.

I’m so grateful for this time of refreshing and fellowship with my Dallas family. Next week I’ll return to Kansas City to finish my last quarter as an IHOPU student!

The Prayer Room DFW’s 10th Anniversary!

In September, while I was an extern at The Prayer Room (TPR), the ministry turned ten. In 2005, God gave a clear and dramatic word to TPR’s director, Brad Stroup, in his living room that said, “Start a daily prayer meeting tomorrow morning at 5am and don’t stop until I come back.” It was the kind of word that you do NOT question or disobey. So next morning at 5am, Brad and a few loyal friends held a prayer meeting in his living room. Eventually they added more daily prayer meetings throughout the day… and they moved out into another building… and another building… and another building… and today they are running 18 hours a day, 7 days a week of live prayer and worship in their OWN magnificent new missions base!

So technically, the anniversary was in September, and we dedicated a Saturday night Encounter service to it at that time, but since we expected to get into our new building any day at that time, we decided to hold off and celebrate the two milestones together in one properly epic event. It ended up taking a lot more time than expected to get into the building, so the combined event wasn’t held until Saturday, February 27.

I drove down to Dallas that weekend with my classmate Chris, who had also been an extern at TPR. On Saturday we enjoyed a lunch event in the prayer room that was mostly attended by core community members, featuring trivia, videos, stories, and much laughter. In the afternoon I was asked to step in as worship leader for the 3-5pm set–luckily I had my music notebook and lots of experience leading devotional sets on the fly!

That evening at 5:00 the Saturday night Encounter service was properly joyful, memorable, inspiring, and sacred. God has been so, so faithful to this community of worshipers and intercessors.

I’m so glad Chris and I got to drive down for this event. Even though many IHOPers were invited, we were the only ones from Kansas City who could make it! Being there in the new prayer room that I invested so much prayer (and paint!) into with my beloved TPR family felt like coming home.

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Brad with four generations of externs (and a photobomb)!
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Brad speaking at The Prayer Room’s 10th anniversary celebration IN OUR BEAUTIFUL BRAND NEW PRAYER ROOM!!!
Sunday devo
Leading a devotional worship set in the new prayer room on Sunday morning.
(...Did I mention we have a new prayer room?)
(…Did I mention we have a new prayer room?!)

Deliver Me

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A few weeks ago, I posted about my car’s breakdown and having to choose joy in the midst of stress. Here’s the sequel to that episode and what God was teaching me in it.

Idris broke down on Sunday, February 14, (happy Valentine’s Day to me) and was in the shop until Saturday, February 20. It took the mechanic a while to figure out what was wrong with it, so for almost a week, I had no answers — and no car.

The Tuesday of that week in my Desert Spirituality class (we’re studying the Egyptian Coptic monks of the 4th and 5th centuries) my teacher posed a challenge: Meditate on one verse for a week. This was the verse assigned:

“Make haste, O God, to deliver me!
O Lord, make haste to help me!”
(Psalm 70:1)

I admit, although I undertook the challenge enthusiastically, at first I couldn’t really connect with it. David was asking the Lord for deliverance from men who were trying to kill him. Being unable to relate to that situation and feeling pretty secure in most areas of my life, I wrestled with the question, “What do I need deliverance from?”

On Friday, while walking from my piano lesson back to the prayer room, I got a call from my mechanic. Long story short, my catalytic converter was blocked and needed to be replaced ($600) but this was only a symptom of a larger untraceable problem and the blockage would only build back up over time (six months to two years) and possibly damage more things along the way, sooooo… his advice was that I start looking for a new car.

GREAT news to hear on a Friday morning!

I sat down in the prayer room, opened my journal to where I had started to write about Psalm 70:1, and thought wryly, “Welp, I know what I need deliverance from now.”

But in the next moment, I knew it wasn’t my car situation itself that I needed deliverance from. It was my attitude about my car situation.

I needed deliverance from fear. Worry. Distrust. The enemies I was fighting were all internal.

Crazy how I get the most revelation and encounter when I’m suddenly in some sort of desperate situation… when I suddenly realise how much I need Him.

At noon, right at the beginning of her set in the prayer room, Erica Jensen started singing a song by Audrey Assad that has recently become very dear to the entire IHOPKC community since Audrey sang it at Onething. (You can watch the set HERE, and you can even see me in the front row. It’s kind of weird to watch the exact moment God was impacting my heart!)

From the love of my own comfort
From the fear of having nothing
From a life of worldly passions
Deliver me O God
From the need to be understood
From the need to be accepted
From the fear of being lonely
Deliver me O God
Deliver me O God
And I shall not want, I shall not want
When I taste Your goodness I shall not want
When I taste Your goodness I shall not want
–“I Shall Not Want” by Audrey Assad

It was exactly what I needed to hear.

That night, Misty Edwards sang the exact same song at Encounter God service. It was a powerful moment. Even Misty was choking up and had trouble finishing the verse. (You can watch that set HERE. The song starts around 33 minutes.)

Lord, deliver me from fear of not having what I need. Deliver me from trying to figure things out on my own. You are my shepherd, and I shall not want. I lack nothing with You. I rest in Your presence and provision.

Enjoy Audrey Assad singing I Shall Not Want at Onething 2015:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqtVmC9Gt8g

Epilogue: I paid for the repair and got Idris back on Saturday, February 20. I’ve been driving her gently ever since (except that one time I drove to Dallas last weekend…) and she’s been behaving very nicely for me.

The Parable of the Girl and the King

Nearly four years ago, during my first few months at IHOPKC, God was taking me on a journey of looking at the story of my life through His eyes. I began to see how faithful and gentle He had been in bringing me to Himself, even though I grew up in the church. One Wednesday night in the prayer room, on August 12, 2012, I wrote a little parable of my story. I was reminded again of it tonight, and decided to share it with you.

Once there was a young girl who lived in the kingdom of a great King. From her infancy she grew up knowing of the King and hearing his power and goodness praised. When she was only three years old she decided to become a citizen of his kingdom, for this was a great privilege available to anyone, young or old, from any way of life, who would choose to live under the rulership of the King. For the King had paid a great price for anyone to receive citizenship freely, and from a young age the girl accepted this gift gladly.

As she grew, though, daily surrounded by reminders of the King’s rule, the girl’s heart began to grow distant. She was still young and glad of her citizenship, but she began to resent the constant symbols of the kingdom. She began to wish she could taste life in the exotic lands outside the kingdom. For all the world she still looked and acted like a citizen, but she knew that her heart did not rejoice in it. She continued on, though, because she knew it was right, and besides, it was the only way she knew.

Still, she always knew that the King was good, and as she watched others celebrating him and their citizenship in his kingdom, she wished for that same joy. She didn’t know how to get it, so she occasionally petitioned the King for such understanding and joy in her most secret moments, but continued to live as though she wished she could escape. The girl was very confused, frustrated, and lonely.

The King heard her petition, and because of his goodness, began to answer it, as though he had only been waiting to be asked. He assigned her to a local community that knew and loved him well, and with them as her guides, she began to know him better too. Bit by bit, the King slowly began to show her what being a citizen meant.

The girl discovered that the King heard every petition and always gave an answer. She discovered that the King wanted her not only to be a citizen who would obey his laws and enjoy his blessings, but to be his friend.

So, very slowly, the girl who had always known and respected the King grew to know and love him as a friend. She would occasionally drop by his palace and have talks with him—often with her friends, but also sometimes alone. They were awkward conversations at first, but they gradually grew more natural and trusting.

The King decided to show the girl what kind of friend he could be, so he invited her on trips to distant cities. The girl loved these trips, and they would spend entire weeks constantly in each other’s company. The girl learned how the King ruled his kingdom, and he let her help him bring justice and mercy to those who needed him. The girl was delighted to have a friend as good and powerful as this King.

But after every trip, the closeness they had built would eventually fade away. The girl was at first very excited to visit the King every day to talk, but then she came every other day, and then only once a week. She still loved and missed him, but she didn’t know how to maintain a friendship without the excitement of the trips. The King missed the girl as well, and he decided it was time to show her something new.

So over many days, the King began to tell the girl a story. It began as an epic story in three parts, but he was always adding new bits to it, and every other story he told always ended up being part of the same story. The story told of a mighty warrior in a coloured forest who was tenderly pursuing a maiden who didn’t want him. He fiercely wooed her and lavished love on her, even to the point of laying down his life to rescue her, until she finally yielded to him and he claimed her as his bride for all eternity.

The girl was moved to tears by the story, and even more so when the King knelt before her and confessed that the story was about him. He told her that he didn’t only want her as a citizen, or a friend, or even a daughter. He wanted her to be his bride.

The girl couldn’t believe it. This great King, so powerful and kind and beautiful, wanted her to be his bride? She who had pushed him away for so long and still barely knew how to love him?

But it was true, and the girl watched through tears as the kneeling King slipped a gold ring on her finger and tenderly kissed her hand. In that moment, the girl’s love began to blossom in earnest, and she realised that nothing she had ever wanted compared to this King, this man, who held such power in every flash of his eyes and every passion of his heart. He had chosen her and she had chosen him, and she vowed to live the rest of her life letting him love her and learning to love him as he deserved.

Their engagement was very long, because the King could not marry until his rule over the land was made complete. So through the long days of waiting the King continued wooing her heart and she fell more in love with the man she realised she barely knew. He took her on many more adventures, and each one revealed more of who he was and who he had chosen her to be. And with every revelation the girl loved him more.

Choose Joy

I hate to feel out of control.

I really, really hate to feel out of control.

I hate when “life happens” (why do people say that as though life is a bad thing?) and monkey wrenches get thrown into my plans. I hate when the carpet gets pulled out from under me and I’m faced with a situation completely outside of my power to fix.

I wish I could say my response to these kinds of situations is immediately godly. I wish I could say my heart is flooded with peace and I keep my eyes set on things above as I recall all the times Jesus has provided for me. Instead, I usually get incredibly frustrated, stressed, and unpleasant. I tend to complain loudly, listing life’s offenses against me as though preparing a legal case to vindicate my right to be frustrated. By the grace of God, though, I think over the years I’ve gradually gotten better at choosing peace and trust and joy more quickly.

This weekend my friend Peter visited Kansas City. We kind of grew up together and were very much in the same youth group cohort in high school. He goes to school three hours away from Kansas City and really wanted to visit the prayer room, so I drove out to pick him up and set him up in a friend’s house for a couple nights. Friday and Saturday were great. We hung out, got pizza, sat in the prayer room, went to service, and played games with some of my worship team.

Sunday I was already running a little late to pick Peter up for church, and I walked outside to icy roads and Idris‘ windows coated with ice. I set myself to the task of scraping, grumping all the way, and then my scraper head broke off from its cozy mitt. Not happy. It took about 15 minutes to scrape my windows, alternating hands while my fingers went numb. I quickly decided that I needed to rise above frustration and choose joy, but I wasn’t very awesome at it. Here’s how that went:

“I’m thankful I have a car. I’m thankful I’m in Kansas City at IHOPU. I’m thankful my scraper still works. I’m thankful there’s no wind. I’m thankful there’s no sign-in at service on Sunday so I won’t lose any attendance points. I’m thankful Peter is cool and won’t be mad if I’m late. (Oh Jesus, my fingers! How much more to scrape?) I’m thankful I have a car. I’m thankful the Holy Spirit lives inside of me and I get to live with Jesus forever. I’m thankful this is my last Missouri winter. Last Missouri winter. Last Missouri winter. Last Missouri winter.”

Church was great, we only missed a little bit of worship, and we were on the road to take Peter home in good time. Until…

Idris stopped accelerating. Being unable to push past 20 mph on the freeway is Not A Good Thing.
long walk and a taxi from good
We pulled over and Peter looked at my engine and walked to buy oil while I called my dad near tears. (As previously stated, I HATE to feel out of control.) I then called AAA for a tow, and we ended up leaving Idris at my mechanic’s shop (he’s an IHOPer I’ve used before and he’s awesome), getting picked up by my wonderful roommate, and borrowing her car to drive Peter back home.

The afternoon was crazy and I was all kinds of stressed, but through it all, I again tried to keep reminding myself of what I have to be thankful for.

I’m thankful I have a car.
I’m thankful Peter was with me when it happened.
I’m thankful my roommates were so encouraging and helpful.
I’m thankful Peter had enough wiggle room not to get in trouble with school.
I’m thankful the tow truck came quickly.
I’m thankful I have an awesome mechanic whom I know and trust.
I’m thankful the roads weren’t icy anymore and we had a safe drive.
I’m thankful my dad was able to talk to me and help me stay calm.
I’m thankful my tax refund just came in and I shouldn’t have trouble paying for repairs.
I’m thankful I live right by IHOPU and my roommate is in my classes so I won’t have trouble getting to school.

Even when crazy things happen, they’re not the end of the world. They are opportunities to choose joy and grow in love and trust for Jesus.

Maybe next time I’ll be even quicker to choose joy.