Tag: IHOP

To Love the Church Like Jesus

On By CaitlynIn Bible Stuff

(One of my IHOPU classes, Basic Christian Beliefs, is giving the assignment of blogging on certain questions from the lessons every week. This week, I’m choosing the question “Can you love Jesus but hate the church?”)

“I love Jesus, just not the church.”

I’ve heard variations of this statement to varying degrees over the years. In a way, I understand. I really do. A lot of people have been deeply hurt by members of the Church. It’s very understandable to react by distancing oneself from the Church and to seek out one’s own spiritual path toward God. And in one sense, I am so pleased when such people feel hurt, and they still cling to Jesus. That’s a remarkable thing and a testament to who He is even when His people misrepresent Him. But here’s the thing.

Jesus is not bitter against His own body.

If we want to be on this journey of loving what God loves and hating what He hates, then we have to get His perspective of how He sees the Church.

He nourishes and cherishes the Church as His body.

“For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.”
(Ephesians 5:29-30)

He rejoices over His people as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride. We are His betrothed.

“For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your sons marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.”
(Isaiah 62:5)

“And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy.”
(Hosea 2:19)

“And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.”
(Revelation 21:2)

We are called to stand alongside Jesus as friends of the bridegroom, to be jealous for the bride in the same way that He is.

“The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete.”
(John 3:29)

“For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ.”
(2 Corinthians 11:2)

What best man (the modern equivalent of the “friend of the bridegroom”) would ever say before the wedding, “I love the guy, but I can’t stand this girl he’s marrying”? What groom would ever choose someone who was angry or bitter at his chosen bride to stand beside him on his wedding day?

Of course the Church has issues sometimes. Sometimes big issues, in certain areas. But she is in the process of being sanctified, and she will be ready on that Day. In the meantime, we need to give her lots of grace and love her as Christ loves her, and laid down His life for her. (Ephesians 5:24) We need to get a higher vision. The Church is not the broken individuals who hurt you. The Church is so much bigger and more glorious than that. (For one thing, the Church is global and eternal, not one localised expression or cultural agenda.) And if she’s not completely glorious now, she will be soon. Jesus sees her in that way, even as He sees us as perfectly holy and chooses to be blind to our flaws.

I want to love what Jesus loves and hate what He hates. I want to see through His eyes–and His eyes are fiery with jealous desire for His bride.


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Why Study Eschatology? (The Short Answer)

On By CaitlynIn Bible Stuff

(One of my IHOPU classes, Basic Christian Beliefs, is giving the assignment of blogging on certain questions from the lessons every week. This week, I’m choosing the question “Why is studying eschatology a profitable practice for a Christian?”)

Eschatology can be a really intimidating concept. Many Christians don’t really like to think about it in any kind of detail. We love to quote verses like “He will wipe every tear from their eyes,” (Revelation 21:4) but don’t really study the process that leads up to that moment. I’ve had family members and close friends tell me that their eschatology is “pan-tribulation” (“It will all ‘pan out’ in the end”) and that reading the book of Revelation is “too scary.”

This boggles my mind. The fact is, God is telling a STORY with humanity that has a beginning, a middle, and an end. We passionately defend the beginning and the middle, but sometimes it seems like we couldn’t care less about the end, so long as we all end up happily ever after somehow in “a better place.”

I want to know the story God is telling. He has wrapped up some of the most profound and stunning revelations of His character in those final few chapters. I can’t know Jesus fully unless I look at Him in the context of a Bridegroom, King, and Judge who’s coming back to rescue and marry His bride, rule the earth, and execute full justice. The book of Revelation is “the revelation of Jesus Christ.” (Revelation 1:1)

Furthermore, that time is getting close. We would all agree that it’s closer than it’s ever been, but seriously, it’s getting CLOSE close. I want to have as much understanding of this time period as possible so that when things start happening, my own heart can remain unoffended and fully engaged with what God is doing, and I can also help others to stay in that place. There is no reason I should be caught unaware on that day. He’s already given me everything I need to understand what’s coming – the Spirit and the Word. He wants me to watch, stay awake, and set my heart to love the day of His appearing. (2 Timothy 4:8)

Maybe it won’t come in my lifetime. It really might, but if it doesn’t, I will build a legacy for the next generation of this eager and faithful watching. When He comes, He WILL find a Bride made ready. (Revelation 19:7)

“Now concerning the times and the seasons, brothers, you have no need to have anything written to you. For you yourselves are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, “There is peace and security,” then sudden destruction will come upon them as labor pains come upon a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. But you are not in darkness, brothers, for that day to surprise you like a thief. For you are all children of light, children of the day. We are not of the night or of the darkness. So then let us not sleep, as others do, but let us keep awake and be sober.”
(1 Thessalonians 5:1-6)

“And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”
(Luke 18:7-8)

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Just “Jesus Being Jesus”?

On By CaitlynIn Bible Stuff

 (One of my IHOPU classes, Basic Christian Beliefs, is giving the assignment of blogging on certain questions from the lessons every week. This week, I’m choosing the question “Did Jesus perform any miracles before His public ministry?”)

There’s a tension in the Church related to how we envision Jesus during His time on Earth. Do we see Him as so completely ordinary that we confine Him to the context of history and miss the surging reality of His divinity? Or do we see Him as an ethereal, unreachable Being who is constantly gazing vaguely into the clouds with open palms while the Hallelujah chorus echoes around Him?

Both mindsets carry unique dangers and errors. However, for much of traditional church culture (although in emerging culture it’s somewhat the opposite), the latter seems to be more prevalent. We’ve put Jesus in a halo and told Him to stay there.

Part of the result of this over-sacredizing of Jesus is that we get this idea of Him practically sneezing out miracles like it’s nothing. I’ve heard people joke about Jesus as a kid multiplying food whenever he was hungry, or healing animals, etc… you know, just “Jesus being Jesus.” The trouble is that this is not what the Bible says. John 2:11 describes turning water into wine at the wedding in Cana as the “first of his signs.” That only happened after the Holy Spirit came upon Him at His baptism. (John 1:32-34)

When we get this idea of “Well, that’s just Jesus being Jesus. He’s God, so He just does stuff like that,” we miss the entire point of what Jesus was trying to demonstrate.

“So Jesus said to them, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise…. I can do nothing on my own.'”
(John 5: 19, 30)

Do you see the implications of this? All of Jesus’ miracles weren’t done by the power of His own divinity. They were done as a human in full submission to and partnership with the Holy Spirit.

So what does that mean for us? Jesus said it this way:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. …It is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper [Holy Spirit] will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you.”
(John 14:12; 16:7)

If Jesus was our example, and He actually did all that He did as a human empowered by the Holy Spirit, and He really has given me this same Holy Spirit, that means the exact same resources that were available to Jesus are available to me. I can heal the sick. I can raise the dead. I can cast out demons. All of it is my inheritance.

It’s not just “Jesus being Jesus.” The same Spirit who raised Christ from the dead lives in me. (Romans 8:11)

Hallelujah. God, help me live in that.

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Daddy Jireh Strikes Again

On By CaitlynIn IHOPKC Life

Here’s my big news of the week thus far:

I GOT A JOB!!!

Two Sundays ago, four days after I moved in, I started driving around town picking up job applications. I literally just drove around and walked into every store that looked interesting. Not necessarily the most strategic way to get the job of your dreams, but it is indeed an effective way to get *a* job, especially if you just need part-time whatever. Bed Bath & Beyond was hiring, so I picked up an application and took it home. I spent the rest of the week filling out apps and returning them, finally making it back to BBB on Friday. I would have had an immediate interview if the manager wasn’t busy, so he called me back on Monday and I interviewed, got hired, and had my first two training shifts on Tuesday and Wednesday. WOW!! That was so crazy fast! God is so good!! Third application submitted, first interview, less than two weeks after moving? WHAT???? That’s called extravagance, ladies and gents. God doesn’t do things for his children by halves.

The staff have been really friendly and supportive, another girl from IHOPU works there, and I found two Whovians and a guy from California. HA. (The Whovians and I agree that Peter Capaldi will grow on us just as Matt did. And we will all cry when Eleven regenerates just like we did for Ten.) I’m working in soft lines, which is the towels and bedding and draperies and such. FABRIC. I get to touch fabric and learn about it and talk about it and help customers pick out the right things and best matching combinations… I have sooo much to learn, but they’re going to train me very thoroughly and I will love it here. (And I’m making over minimum wage for this state, which is nice.)

I have the sneaking suspicion that my life is about to get rather overwhelming and sleep will become even more of a rarity than it already is, but it’s completely okay because I LOVE what my life is right now. I’m getting so much good biblical teaching, I have an amazing small group that already blesses me so much, I have the perfect apartment with one of my best friends, I have an INCOME (hallelujah), and best of all, I get to spend almost every morning in the prayer room talking with Jesus as the sun rises. His mercies are new every morning. 🙂

A few particular prayer requests:

  • Favour and quick learning in my new job.
  • A bike so I don’t have to use quite so much gas.
  • Grace and time to work on my creative projects– piano and writing, etc.
  • Continued financial provision.
  • The spirit of wisdom and revelation and I pray and study (Ephesians 1:17).
  • God to use me wherever I go.
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+8 Days and Counting!

On By CaitlynIn IHOPKC Life

Yesterday was my one week anniversary of being in Kansas City. YAY! KC and I are pretty happy together and expect this to be a long-term relationship, so I’d say things are going well so far. 😉

I’ve been doing 6:00-9:00 a.m. prayer room every morning Monday-Thursday, and I have class at IHOPU at 10:00. That means I wake up at 5:00, get out the door by 5:50 to be early to the prayer room and get my favourite seat, then I’m in there for one full intercession set and half of a worship with the word set. Worship leaders this week have been Justin Rizzo, Jon Thurlow, and Tim Reimherr. I’ve listened to their cds but rarely heard them lead live, so that’s kind of fun.  I also love that the ACTS missions school students are in there in the mornings with me, as well as many IHOPU students, so I’m surrounded by plenty of fiery young people to help me wake up and get my prayer on. 😀

Then I come home and get to spend about 45 minutes eating breakfast, talking with whichever of my flatmates is in the kitchen, and reorienting my brain for class. My class schedule this quarter looks like this:

  • Mon/Wed 10:00-12:00 – Biblical Hermeneutics with Daniel Lim
  • Tues/Thurs 10:00-12:00 – Basic Christian Beliefs with Jono Hall
  • Wed 1:00-3:00 – Sermon on the Mount Practicum with Wes Martin and Dana Candler

I’m also going to have discipleship group meetings once a week, most likely Tuesday afternoons, plus regular service/outreach activities together, but I haven’t been assigned my leader yet. I am definitely looking forward to that, though. I know I want to devote some time to going out with the evangelism teams again at some point, and maybe also ushering and CEC. We’ll see how much my schedule can hold.

These classes are SO much fun already. Bible classes were always one of my favourite parts of APU, and it feels good to be back in the swing of analysing worldviews, doing exegesis, comparing hermeneutics, etc. I did of course get really good Bible teaching during OTI, but it was much less academic. And as much as I love that, I enjoy a little scholarliness thrown in the mix as well. It’s good to approach the Bible in a variety of ways.

I’m also looking for a job. I picked up a stack of applications from all over town that I’m working on getting filled out and turned in, so continued prayer for that would be awesome.

I finally put my keyboard on my desk and started teaching myself some worship songs on it. It is of course veeeeery slow going, but I really want to be able to use music more in my secret place times with God. I know how to figure out the notes and chords even if it takes me a long time, so I am slowly but surely trying to build the habits into my fingers. Maybe one day I’ll be able to post a video of something… even one of my own songs, perhaps? We’ll see. Don’t hold your breath.

All in all, this week has been mostly me figuring out what the upcoming months are going to look like, and I can tell you right now that my future here looks very exciting. I’m at one of the most unique places on the earth for pursuing the knowledge of God and I’m surrounded by passionate, fun, godly people to run with. God has provided for me so graciously already in so many ways, and I know he will continue to provide everything I need. I can’t wait to see what he has for me as I give myself to this thing.

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The Road Home: Welcome Home!

On By CaitlynIn IHOPKC Life1 Comment

The rest of the road trip since Phoenix was very fun. I spent a night in Roswell with a very family-like family I got to know through camp. They made me feel so at home, and I love them dearly. 🙂 The next night was spent in Tulsa with two dear friends I’ve only met in person twice before, but with whom I’ve been very close online for years. We all met in the Ted Dekker online fan community, and these two formed a very special bond, repeatedly travelled over several states to spend time together, and are now engaged! !  I had a delightful time talking Ted Dekker, Doctor Who, wedding, and plain old life stuff with them. I treasure these people and it’s such a gift whenever I get to actually talk to and hug them in person.

And finally…. Helloooooo, Kansas City! I made it. I arrived on Wednesday, August 14 in the early afternoon. I spent the rest of the day moving in, hanging out with intern friends, and grocery shopping (eek, adulthood is expensive!). I have my own bedroom in the basement apartment of a wonderful couple’s house just up the street from the prayer room. I currently have three flatmates, but two of them are leaving soon and we may be getting a new one… someone’s looking at the room today. It will for sure be me and my dear friend and former OTI roommate. The shared living space is adorable. Full kitchen and living room, bathroom, laundry room, everything. It’s very well decorated and cozy and colourful. My own room is so much more perfect than I even expected. I was anticipating having to buy a thrifted bookshelf or something for the 70+ books I brought, but as it turns out, there are more shelves and drawers in this room than even I know what to do with. There’s colourful art on the walls, as well as a beautiful bouquet on the desk (I have a desk!) that one of my flatmates bought me as a welcome gift. I am so happy and at home here already. I haven’t had my own room in years.

DSC00992
Can you find the two Doctor Who references in this picture? (You might have to zoom.)

Thursday and Friday were long days of orientation. I met so many amazing, passionate, fun IHOPU people and I am so excited to get to know them better and to do this thing together with them.  We did a scavenger hunt and I loved getting to drive Idris, stuffed to capacity with six people, around Kansas City finding shops and completing tasks. It was very fun to discover that I still (mostly) know my way around town and to discover new places to shop!

Thursday night was our consecration service. It was a really amazing time of setting ourselves apart for God in this season. I definitely felt God’s presence and it was so amazing to realise that although I’ve spent so much of the time since I was last in Kansas City struggling and trying and repenting, it’s a new season and I have no limits on how far I can go in him. Furthermore, there is zero condemnation for all of those times I felt like I was missing it. He actually valued all those times I kept coming back. I’m overwhelmed by his faithfulness and I am so excited to see where he’s going to take me as I press into him!

Tomorrow, I start classes and try to adjust to an early morning Sacred Trust (prayer room hours). Since I’m a sophomore, I can choose my prayer room schedule, and I have several weeks before I have to commit to a schedule, but I’ve decided to try out the 6:00 a.m. time slot. I have class at 10:00, so I’ll probably “officially” be there till 9:00 and then head out around 9:45 or so. That’s the plan so far. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Thank you for all your support and prayers! I know many of the people reading this are my family and friends, but I also know I have some regular readers I’ve never even met. Thank YOU so much for entering into this journey with me!

A few ways you can be praying for me:

  • Finding a job.
  • Continued financial provision.
  • Godly, provoking relationships among my flatmates, discipleship group, and IHOPU as a whole.
  • Single-minded focus in the prayer room and in classes.
  • Boldness and anointing in moving with Holy Spirit in whatever he’s doing.
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Spring Break Update

On By CaitlynIn IHOPKC Life, Personal Updates1 Comment

I was on spring break from camp this week. I spent the entire week at home. Easter was lovely, and it definitely gave me a chance to observe and reflect on how we’re all growing older and so much has changed. We haven’t done a real Easter egg hunt in several years, so Mom just dumped a bunch of candy on the floor and we all sat around politely nibbling on it. No mad grab, no piles, no trading five jelly beans for one Reese’s. We did a little bit of dare-you-to-eat-this-mystery-jelly-belly, though, so I guess full maturity hasn’t hit yet. One or two “significant others” joined us, which makes my heart swell with joy. I love adding to the family circle. especially such wonderful people and perfect fits as they are. Many of us went to different Easter services and even different churches, which was weird but good. We’re each choosing our own spiritual communities and our own places to encounter God.

The rest of the week was relaxing but fun and productive. Highlights:

  • I kept my Netflixing minimal. (Well, I say “minimal”… I went through all of season one of Dollhouse in two days, then successfully avoided TV the rest of the week.) Those who’ve lived with me will recognise the accomplishment this is.
  • In my defence, the above marathon occurred during recovery from a devilish cold which almost put me out of commission for a few days at work. And that ain’t easy to do. I went through more tissues this week…
  • I purged and organised my giant 6’x6′ IKEA bookshelf and cleared out a whopping 13 of its 25 squares. All of my college papers are now completely sorted and labeled. Hallelujah.
  • I went thrift shopping with my sister and bought three adorable tank tops for a total of about $5 that were all completely unique yet all had nearly the exact same yellow colour scheme. I seem to have definitively discovered my new favourite colour.
  • I watched the Doctor Who episode “The Eleventh Hour” with my sister while eating fish fingers and custard, as the Doctor and Amelia iconically do in the episode. I cannot even express how gleefully geeky we felt.

    Oh yes. This happened.
    Oh yes. This happened.

I also took some more baby steps forward on the IHOPU planning front.

  • I got in touch with someone in Kansas City from whom I might be renting a basement room. Things are looking very positive– OHMYGOSH I’M RENTING MY OWN PLACE!!
  • I filled out my IHOPU application, then seem to have recycled it along with mounds of junk from the shelves I cleaned. Ah well. Emailed the admissions office for another form, since it’s inexplicably not online.
  • I did a projected state of my financial affairs in August. Not too shabby. Not exactly fully self-sustaining, but definitely starting off on the right foot. 🙂 God is providing… I love it when he does that!

Oh, and the Academic Calendar for the Fall 2013 semester is now online.

2013 Fall Semester

August 15–17 | New student orientation
August 19 | Fall semester/quarter I begins
October 11 | Quarter I ends
October 14 | Quarter II begins
November 24–December 1 | Thanksgiving break
December 13 | Fall semester/quarter II ends
December 15–January 19 | Christmas/winter break

Guys, this is starting to feel really real again.

I do have a few prayer requests, since I’m apparently in list mode:

  • The last trimester at camp to go well– energy for all the staff!
  • A good summer job to come through.
  • Housing arrangements in KC to be settled.
  • The application process to IHOPU to go smoothly.

Thank you for your support and your prayers as God turns my life beautifully upside down. 🙂 Grace and peace!

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The Road Home: The Birth of a Dream

On By CaitlynIn IHOPKC Life3 Comments

Hi, all. So it’s been nearly two months since my last post… my bad. I’ve been back working at my outdoor science school in the mountains of SoCal for about six weeks now. I love being here. I work with some completely amazing people who inspire me every single day. It definitely does feel like being home, and I’ve loved discovering what God has in store for me during this season.

I know I’ve been mentioning going back to Kansas City in the near future. Yep, I am going back in August to start IHOPU, even though when I started OTI I had ZERO intention of that happening! Here’s the story of how that changed.

One Tuesday morning in the internship, we had a class on Joel and what it says about the role of the church in the period of history in which Jesus returns. (Hint: our main role is to PRAY.) At one point, our teacher asked us to name different verses about the end-time praying church. We shouted out references like Revelation 22:17, Isaiah 42, and Luke 18:6-8, and like a diligent student I scribbled them all down in my notes.

That night in the prayer room, at about 11:30 pm, I decided to get started on my assigned meditation for the week, which was Luke 18:6-8.

“And the Lord said, ‘Hear what the unrighteous judge says. And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?'”
(Luke 18:6-8)

I didn’t even realise that it had been on the list in class that morning, so I looked it up and thought, “Oh, the parable of the persistent widow– I know this story. Pray persistently, I get it, yada yada… I guess I ought to do it properly, though.” So I started journaling through the passage phrase by phrase like I always did on my meditation verses. The first few phrases were simple enough, and I thought it was cool that the verse highlighted “day and night” prayer just like IHOP is dedicated to, but then I started getting confused.

“‘Speedily’?” I thought. “Since when does God ever do anything speedily? Okay, this is just motivation to keep praying, because from God’s perspective it’s speedy, even though from our perspective justice may take forever to come.” And then I got to “when the Son of Man comes,” and got even more lost. I’d read this verse hundreds of times before, and never understood why Jesus made this sudden abrupt reference to his return.

Then I thought, Oh snap, this just became an end-times verse, and it suddenly all made sense. When God stirs his church up to pray day and night, it is because he IS planning to do something speedily. This is the faith that he’s looking for when he comes.

And it suddenly hit me that this verse had been on the board that morning. I frantically dug out my notes, and there it was– end-time praying church, Luke 18:6-8.

As soon as all that clicked, I realised in shock,

This is our story. This is MY story!

This verse is the very reason I am sitting in this room right now!

I still love the way God blinded me to the reality of this verse for YEARS when it was staring me right in the face until the time was right to blow my mind personally and lead me into my calling. I am wholeheartedly convinced that in one way or another I’ll be a part of the house of prayer/praying church/forerunner movement for the rest of my life.

My immediate reaction was along the lines of, “This is what’s happening! Jesus is REALLY coming back REALLY soon and the very fact that the Spirit is stirring us up with faith to pray day and night means that he’s coming SPEEDILY to bring justice to the earth and HOLY CRAP I’m right in the middle of it!!!!” I wrote in my journal that night, “He is looking for his faithful elect who will cry out day and night for the return of the Son of Man, the Righteous Judge.”

And the path that was instantly crystal clear to me was to come back to Cali, work at camp for a while, while keeping up with IHOPU online, and then return to start Year 2 in the fall. I’ve been figuring out some of the details, but I haven’t deviated from that plan since.

I’ll be working at camp till the beginning of June, then do a summer program called SEEP to catch up and be ready for IHOPU in the fall. SEEP runs June 17 – August 9 and I would (95% sure) do it online from Rancho. It’s a pretty intense program, especially since it includes 8 hours/week of required prayer room time. I’d probably do as many of those hours as possible at The Refuge, my local house of prayer. I’d love to also pick up a very small part-time job, possibly at the restaurant I used to work at. I could do SEEP in Kansas City, but I feel that doing it at home would allow me to 1) save two months of rent money! 2) get involved with an actual local church community again, probably The Refuge, 3) “test-drive” the lifestyle in a more “normal” environment, 4) get actual HOP experience outside of IHOPKC, and 5) spend more time with my family who hardly ever see me anymore.

At IHOPU I’ll be part of the Forerunner School of Ministry (FSM) and during years 3 and 4, if I stay that long, I’ll be on the house of prayer leadership track. Theoretically, after that I’ll go… somewhere… and plant a house of prayer.

So there are a lot of things that still aren’t perfectly worked out, but for the next few months at least I have my trajectory, and I am confident that this is what God is leading me into.

I would very much appreciate your prayers for the details to all work out, for financial provision (I may end up doing support letters this time, once I really get into IHOPU), and for me not to miss what God has for me in the here and now, even as I’m looking forward to the next season.

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Home(s)

On By CaitlynIn IHOPKC Life1 Comment

I’m writing this from my living room couch in California. I graduated from OTI two weeks ago today, on December 16. That whole last week was… highly emotional, to say the least. I spent a lot of time with my beautiful core group, traipsed all over the mall with interns on a scavenger hunt, and experienced a wonderful last few nights in the prayer room.

Wednesday was always our favourite night, and God blew it up for us on our last Wednesday scheduled in the prayer room. We celebrated and enjoyed God’s presence together. Much laughter and dancing was involved. Our real last night in the prayer room was the following Tuesday, December 11. I ushered for the last time during the 8:00 p.m. set, or for the first part of it, at least. During the second intercession cycle the directors of the internship came up to the mic and prayed for us. All of the interns went into the aisles and people came and laid hands on us. Soon enough every one of us was bawling. I was mostly okay until Jordan Marcotte, one of our favourite worship leaders and a good friend of many of the interns,  played a song that had been written by one of the interns.

This is my family
Father who sits on the throne
Jesus Christ, Son of God
Holy Spirit
This is my family
No one can take my family
Thank you, Lord
Thank you, Lord
Jesus Christ

And of course even though the lyrics are about the Trinity being our family, in that moment I looked around at all of my interns crying, hugging, and praying, and thought, “This is my family.” And then the tears came and didn’t stop for quite some time.

Nearly six months with these people. The most spiritually intense season of our lives, and we spent nearly every waking moment together. We laughed and prayed and learned and questioned together. We prophesied over each other, prayed over each other, provoked each other onward in our faith… I consider every single one of them to be a most beloved friend.

Driving away on Sunday afternoon was the strangest thing. There were so many mercies in those final few days, though, that made saying goodbye easier. God was so good to us. (I’m pretty sure we’re his favourite internship ever. 😉 He loves us, individually and collectively, a whole freaking lot, and he loves to surprise us and play with us. But there are far too many stories of that to share right now.) The last week was structured so that we had plenty of opportunities to savour our relationships and to say goodbye thoroughly. Also, on the last day, a large handful of the interns went out to Olive Garden together after graduation, so we had that chance to hang out and share those strange first few hours as “former interns” together. Then even on the drive home I had my roommate with me until Phoenix, so it was a blessing I didn’t have to say goodbye to everyone all at once. She is wonderful. 🙂

Christmas with the family was delightful, of course, and I’m currently relaxing at home a bit, spending as much time with my family as possible, and preparing to go back to work camp early in January. I’m planning to work there through the rest of the school year, then move back to Kansas City sometime in the summer to start IHOPU.

I find myself in an interesting position these days. During my time in Kansas City, the area became very much home to me. I know the streets, I have my favourite shops, I have a heart for the UMKC campus, I found a home in the Boiler Room church, and I absolutely love the prayer room and the IHOP community. I felt a lurch in my stomach and a breaking off of a piece of my heart to leave it. Still, I know I will be back. I belong there, for one more season of my life at least.
Now I’m at home in Rancho Cucamonga with my family, where I’ve lived since 2001. My family is here, my church(es) are here, I’ve gone to school, performed in plays, and gotten in car accidents here… my world is more here than it is anywhere else. Rancho will always be my hometown no matter where else I go.

Then, next week I will be moving back up to my camp in the mountains. I’ve been a camper there many times since 5th grade, and I’ve been on staff since 2010. I’ve hiked those trails in every season and I know almost every inch of that property. I’ve had so many wonderful experiences there and made so many precious friendships. That’s my mountain. In KC, I was homesick for camp as much as I was for Rancho.

They say home is where the heart is… but my heart is in three completely separate places. At least that’s what it feels like most days.

In my more peaceful moments I remind myself of the home that I really belong to. I am on pilgrimage here. Rancho, KC, Crestline… ultimately it doesn’t really matter at all. None of these places are my home. The city I belong in is called the New Jerusalem, and that is where I will spend eternity with my Jesus. (Rev 21; Heb 12:22; Gal 4:26) I’m a foreigner in all of these places, because I was created for that heavenly city. He is where my heart is; his presence is my only home. One day I really will walk through those gates made of solid pearl (Rev 21:21) and never, ever have to leave.  In that moment, I will feel more at home than I ever have on earth.
Whether I’m in Rancho, KC, or up at camp, that’s where I belong. That’s the city my spirit is yearning for. Jesus is where my heart is. I am hidden in Christ , and his desire is for me to be with him where he is. (Col 3:3; John 17:24) I’m with him now, but I won’t be fully with him until that day when Christ who is my life appears and I appear with him in glory (Col 3:4), and we enter that glorious city together. So there’s a tension, the age old “already but not yet” of the kingdom. But the good news is that it has nothing to do with what corner of this planet I’m in. My anchor is there, not here. In him, I am always home.

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[Belated] Testimony Thursday: Cheesecake Factory

On By CaitlynIn IHOPKC Life

For the record, I really did write this on Thursday night, but haven’t been able to actually get online to post it till today. So the “today” referenced below really is Thursday. 😉

Tomorrow is the birthday of one of the girls in my core group. Since today is our day off, her roommates planned a full celebratory day for her, starting with lunch at the Cheesecake Factory and ending with a piñata and a party at her apartment. The whole internship was invited to go to lunch and then to hang out at the mall afterwards.

I found myself in a quandary. (I ought to get into quandaries more often…it’s such a fun word to say!) I’ve been praying a lot about evangelism and stepping out in faith more to prophesy and pray for healing, etc. I really wanted to take the opportunity to go evangelising on Thursday afternoon as I normally do, especially since I have so little time left to do it in this kind of environment. (Seriously. A MONTH AND A HALF LEFT.) But I also really wanted to celebrate my friend’s birthday with her and build a memory with a bunch of awesome people. So I finally decided to go to Cheesecake Factory, and I’m very glad I did. She was (mostly) surprised and we had a really fun time.

While we were waiting for our table to be ready, some of us decided to go evangelise in the area. I got super excited and was thanking God that I don’t have to be on a scheduled outreach to bring the Kingdom! We grouped up and spread out, but about ten minutes later the birthday girl showed up and we all went inside. My partner and I didn’t really have any opportunities, but two of the other guys prayed for two people in that ten minutes. (Can I just take a moment to say that my OTI guys are AWESOME. Most of them are like my little brothers. They constantly provoke me to love Jesus more.)

Even though it was a birthday party and not a planned outreach, when a bunch of on-fire young people get together in public eager to be used by God, he can’t resist the opportunity! We decided to prophesy over our server. She was so bubbly and friendly and helpful, we really wanted to bless her. A few of us got words for her, and she was really touched. She started sharing a few things that were going on in her boyfriend’s family that have really been difficult for her. And God met her in the middle of her workday with the truth that he loves her and his eye is on her. It was a very special and fun thing to be used by God in. (And we all left generous tips, don’t worry.) I want to keep praying that God keeps encountering her and wooing her heart!

Today was special for me because it reminded me that I really can be a conduit of the Kingdom anywhere I go. I don’t have to choose between outreach and birthday party—literally anywhere is prime ground for the Kingdom to break out! This is just a tiny taste of what it’s supposed to be like.

God, give me eyes to see what you’re doing, ears to hear what you’re saying, and the faith and boldness to follow up and step out. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

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