Category: Just Thoughts

Maranatha, Emmanuel

On By CaitlynIn End Times, Just Thoughts

History

My favorite Christmas hymn has always been “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel”. I love the low, yearning tones that seem to hang in the air, expressing the groan of creation for a redeemer.

O come, O come, Emmanuel
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear

When I sat down to write this blog, I decided to do a little background research on this hymn, and what I found made me love it all the more.

“O Come, O Come, Emmanuel” was originally written in Latin for worship in Benedictine monasteries in the 8th or 9th century (here are two great sources I found). It was one of a series of “antiphons” that would be sung in the days leading up to Christmas. (If the word “antiphon” looks familiar to those acquainted with the harp and bowl model, yep- it’s the refrain following a call and response!) This series of songs, called the “O Antiphons,” each highlighted a different name of Jesus.

  • O Sapentia (Wisdom)
  • O Adonai (God)
  • O Radix Jesse (Stem or root of Jesse)
  • O Clavis David (Key of David)
  • O Oriens (Dayspring)
  • O Rex genitium (King of the Gentiles)
  • O Emmanuel (God with us)

The first letter of each word, when read backwards, spells the Latin “Ero cras,” which means “I will be present tomorrow.” O Emmanuel would traditionally be sung on the day before Christmas Eve. (The eighth antiphon, sung on Christmas Eve, would be “O Virgo Virginum”, meaning O Virgin of Virgins.) The modern form as we now know it was translated and published in 1851.

I love studying the history of monasteries, because they’re a deep part of our family history. Especially as someone building 24/7 prayer, I have so much honor and gratitude for the monastic tradition and their legacy of constant prayer and worship. It’s beautiful to know that 1200 years ago my brothers and sisters were singing this same hymn in longing for the presence of God.

Emmanuel

After all, that’s what “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel” is about. Longing. Yearning. Aching for the coming of the One who will make everything right.

From the moment Eden fell– our first cosmic tragedy, when darkness swallowed the light and the glory of God seemed to be forever lost– God promised that Eve’s future Seed would crush the head of the serpent (Ge. 3:15). In that moment, a glimmer of hope first shone.

Down through the generations, the people of God waited for the Seed. The promises narrowed, as God singled out Abraham, then Isaac, then Jacob, then Judah, then David. The prophets elaborated on what this Seed would do– He would inherit the throne of David and bring salvation to Israel, and by extension to the whole earth, until the glory of God would cover the earth again. They called Him the Son of David, the Anointed One (Messiah).

And Isaiah called Him Emmanuel (Is. 7:14). God with us.

When I hear this song, I hear that ancient longing for a redeemer to fulfill God’s promises to His people. As the first verse says, Israel is captive and mourning in exile. Even living in her own land under Roman occupation, Israel was a long way from thriving in the fullness of her promises. Truthfully, the exile hasn’t ended even today, because God can’t fully give Israel her land to dwell in safely forever until she’s fully righteous (see my post on Israel’s promises).

And really, the exile is even deeper than that, because all of humanity has been exiled from Eden since Genesis 3.

The birth of Emmanuel changed everything– or more accurately, was the start of changing everything. YES, God was with us for 33 years, walking around on the ground in a body of flesh. YES, Jesus’s death made a way for our spiritual exile to end, so that we could be justified before God and boldly enter into His presence. YES, His Spirit is with us now.

But we’re not home yet.

And He’s not home yet.

Maranatha

Our home, and Jesus’ home, is heaven on earth forever, when the New Jerusalem descends and the kingdom of God becomes a physical reality. Jesus will rule on earth as the promised Son of David, and He will restore all things back to the purity and limitless life that was present in Eden.

Until then, we groan, together with all creation (Ro. 8:22-23).

The ancient Greek word to express this longing is “Maranatha.” It means, “Come, O Lord!” When I sing “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel”, I’m not only singing it in memory of those who longed for His first coming, but for myself and my generation now, longing for His second coming. The first coming was really to make way for the second. Jesus’ work is incomplete until He returns.

This “Maranatha” is the cry of the Bride at the end of Revelation:

“The Spirit and the Bride say, ‘Come.’ …Come, Lord Jesus!”
(Revelation 22:17, 20)

In that day, the full meaning of Emmanuel will become reality, when God Himself is on the earth forever.

“And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.'”
(Revelation 21:2-3)

Right now, we live in the waiting, hanging in the gap between the “already” and the “not yet.” That’s my favorite part of “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel”: the tension between the verses and the chorus, as we linger in the longing before “Rejoice!” breaks out. (Jaye Thomas has a beautiful acapella version on Spotify and elsewhere that sings several verses before he finally gets to the chorus.)

This Christmas season, as we feel into the ancient anticipation for the birth of Emmanuel, let’s also join with the ancient cry of Maranatha, that God would be with us forever on the earth when Jesus comes. This is the dearest longing of His heart, and thus it becomes ours too.

Maranatha. Come, Emmanuel.

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5 Keys for the Church in Addressing COVID-19

On By CaitlynIn Just Thoughts


Spring 2020 is going down in the history books. The COVID-19 coronavirus has shaken the entire world and we’re still just trying to get our bearings!

As I’m writing this from my prayer room, our county in DFW has recently issued a mandatory “stay at home” order, joining many other cities and states. I just prayed on the mic, but I wasn’t allowed to touch it. We are cleaning the prayer room every two hours and restricting it to essential personnel only, no more than nine in the building. I haven’t hugged anyone in nearly three weeks. The first week I was in 4-hour intensive leadership meetings nearly every day (we started calling it one long meeting with breaks!). We’ve been trying to plan for every possible development, and yet things keep surprising us.

And I think we’re all sensing that this is only the beginning.

We need wisdom! I’ve been seeing a post going around Facebook that says, “Your pastor has never pastored a church through a pandemic before.” That’s so real! Most of us have never had to live through anything like this. We’re all trying to figure it out, and what we’re realizing very quickly is that natural wisdom only goes so far. We need supernatural insight and revelation into how to partner with the Lord through this. In other words, what is He doing and how can we participate? How does HE want us to respond? As our director Brad keeps saying, “All I want is a ‘well done’ on this.”

Two weeks ago, our leadership team did a panel about how we’re responding and what we sense that God wants the Church to learn in this time. Through that conversation, many more we’ve been having as a leadership team and in various groups, and my own private conversations with God, here are a few of the main things I believe are key for us to grasp as we respond to this season.

(There are so many more things to be said–the many ways that this could lead to revival, the shaking of the church’s lack of community, the whole dynamic of faith vs fear–but as I’ve been praying these are the key points I felt were given to me to highlight.)

1. Four Sources of Bad

One of the first questions believers ask when crisis hits is where it comes from. The answer is key in figuring out to respond. Are we supposed to submit to God’s judgment or rebuke the enemy’s attack?

As we’ve been studying the end time judgments for a number of years, we’ve learned to see four distinct sources of BAD in that generation. All of them are valid, and we can respond to each of them separately.

  1. God’s Wrath – God does release judgment on the earth in His mercy and kindness, as a way to wake people up and call them to Himself (Amos 3:6, Isaiah 26:9-10). He is looking for us to respond in humility and repentance and to submit to His ways, asking for mercy.
  2. Satan’s Rage – At the same time, Satan is like a roaring lion whose objective is to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10, cf 2 Peter 5:8). God has given us authority to rebuke the enemy and bring the kingdom against him.
  3. Man’s Sin – Some evil in the world is the direct result of men making poor decisions, either out of wickedness or just plain ignorance and weakness. In this arena, we need to repent and embrace righteousness and wisdom, and call others to do the same.
  4. Creation’s Groan – Ever since the fall in the garden of Eden, creation has been under a curse. Some bad things that happen, whether disease or natural disasters, are related to the simple brokenness of creation that is groaning to be restored (Romans 8:19-22). Therefore, it’s appropriate to respond with natural, practical solutions.

We may see that all four of these elements are at play in the current coronavirus crisis.

  1. Yes, God is sovereignly orchestrating this as judgment to call the world to Himself. Let’s repent and cry out for mercy (Joel 2:12-27), and partner with His purposes.
  2. Yes, Satan is raging against the expansion of the Kingdom and wreaking havoc wherever he can. Let’s rebuke his schemes with the authority of Christ.
  3. Yes, there were things humans did in mismanaging this virus that contributed to it becoming such a pandemic. Let’s repent to God, call for accountability, and try to do better.
  4. Yes, creation is still broken and disease and disasters do naturally occur. Let’s wash our hands, do social distancing, and look for a vaccine.

Many people have a solid grasp of one or a few of these elements, but in order to be in full partnership with God in this season, we need to listen to each other and seek out His heart in all four areas.

2. Protection in His Presence

Seemingly the entire body of Christ, independently and all at once, has latched onto praying and believing Psalm 91. The same theme is echoed in Psalm 27:4-5.

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty… For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence… Because you have made the LORD your dwelling place— the Most High, who is my refuge— no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent.”
(Psalm 91:1-10)

“One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life… For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent…”
(Psalm 27:4-5)

There is a promise of protection for the people of God in the midst of crisis! However, it should be noted that this protection is not universally applied like a get-out-of-jail-free card to every saved person. This promise is for those who choose to dwell in the shelter of the Most High. And what is that shelter? I believe it’s most specifically the house of prayer.

Just like this Psalm was written in the literal shelter of the tabernacle of David, this verse is describing those who choose to bind themselves together with other believers in sustained prayer and worship on a regular basis.

I believe the Lord is teaching us how to dwell in His house and rely on His protection when we do. I can’t wait to hear the testimonies of supernatural pockets of mercy around houses of prayer! This is a revelation that will move from theory into daily reality as crisis after crisis shakes the earth in the days to come.

3. Love Well

I love the book title from Danny Silk: “Keep Your Love On.” No matter what kind of scenario we find ourselves in, we should still be able to carry love and kindness toward each other. That needs to happen in a number of ways right now– let’s start with not panic-buying out the grocery store and following the social distancing protocols to protect each other, and also being gracious with each other’s differences of opinion on the situation (after all, this is new to all of us!), and showing love when we’re in close quarters with family.

Along with that, I’ll emphasize: social distancing is love. It’s not a matter of fear, but of willingly surrendering our own rights and freedoms in order to serve and protect our communities, especially the most vulnerable among us. It’s a tangible opportunity to demonstrate the love of Christ and to lay down our lives for each other. I know we want to hug our friends and have our usual game nights… DON’T. Staying home and finding every creative way possible to connect at a distance is a profound expression of love right now. (For more on this thought process, read this article from Relevant.)

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”
(Matthew 7:12)

“And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
(Matthew 22:39)

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
(Philippians 2:3-4)

4. Keep Your Mandate

As a house of prayer, we’ve been feeling the tension between our mandate for night and day prayer and the virus’ mandate for shutting everything down. As government mandates tighten, we’re walking a thin line and really trying to pray through what it looks like to be faithful to our calling.

In 2005, God gave us a clear and dramatic word to “Start a daily prayer meeting tomorrow morning at 5:00 a.m. and don’t stop until I come back.” That word has been our guiding force ever since, even as we’ve come to see the calling of the house of prayer clearly in Scripture. We fervently believe that since God called us to never stop until the second coming, He was fully aware of every obstacle that would come against us and will give us grace and protection through it all.

Our central verse, painted prominently on our prayer room wall, is God’s command to the Levitical priesthood:

“Fire shall be kept burning on the altar continually; it shall not go out.”
(Leviticus 6:13)

As God has highlighted this verse to us, we’ve settled deeply in our spirits that we will live and die by this calling. For us, this is absolutely nonnegotiable. We’re doing everything we can to stay safe, but ultimately, we won’t compromise the fire on the altar no matter what. (We have layer upon layer of contingency plans in place for if this thing goes full war zone and extreme measures must be taken!)

In the upheaval of this virus, many ministries have been having this same wrestle. It’s caused a reexamining of core values to find the nonnegotiable at the bottom. I’ll be clear: not every house of prayer is called to take such a hardline stance on the fire on the altar! I’m not here to judge what other ministries feel led to do right now. I would encourage you, though, to find the baseline of what you are fundamentally unwilling to compromise. If God told you to do something, don’t walk away until HE releases you.

5. This Is a Dress Rehearsal

In the final handful of years before Jesus returns, humanity will experience a whole slew of global disasters–world war, water turning to blood, earthquakes, giant hailstones, etc. Before that, Jesus said there would be a series of escalating disasters. This is what Matthew 24 calls the “birth pains,” like the first few contractions before the woman goes into hard labor. The birth pains are intended to be signals to wake us up to pay attention, to give us the opportunity to “practice” responding to the bigger judgments that are coming.

“And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are but the beginning of the birth pains.”
(Matthew 24:6-8)

God is really kind. He doesn’t want us to be caught off guard. He warned us ahead of time, and He is slowly turning up the dial to gradually give us bigger and bigger opportunities to test our readiness. COVID-19 is a devastating tragedy, absolutely, but it’s also the mercy of God to allow us a dress rehearsal for the greater crises that are coming.

If we’re not already prepared by the time we’re in the middle of crisis, it’s really difficult to play catch up–both naturally and spiritually. If we had been more proactive about being prepared for a pandemic of this scale and even springing into action the instant cases started showing up, a lot of this could have been nipped in the bud. The world is learning that we can’t procrastinate responding to crises.

COVID-19 came out of nowhere suddenly, like a “thief in the night”. Some people were more aware than others, but by and large, the world was caught by surprise. Likewise, the escalating events of the end times will hit suddenly. If we wait to prepare till it’s already underway, it’s going to be far more difficult, and we’re going to have many more casualties. The window of opportunity is now.

This season is an unprecedented opportunity for the global church to press into God like never before. God is on the move, beginning to shake everything that can be shaken–let’s be wise to partner with Him and not waste this season!

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Letter to Myself 10 Years Ago

On By CaitlynIn Just Thoughts1 Comment
Yep, this is 2010 Caitlyn in my acting headshots.

Five years ago, I wrote a letter to myself one year ago. It was so much fun to look back on all the ways I had grown in that one year. At the turn of the decade, here in the beginning of 2020, I’ve been thinking about 2010 Caitlyn and what she would think to get a letter from the future.

Dear Caitlyn…

Hello from 2020! I know that sounds like the vastly distant future, but I promise the time will pass more quickly than you expect.

So, for you it’s 2010. You’re 19 years old and a senior at Azusa Pacific University. You’re studying theater, making plans for a career in TV and film, but you’re also developing an itch you can’t quite put your finger on.

I guess this letter is going to be full of spoilers, so are you ready for a big one?

You’re not going to go into an acting career at all.

You’ll still be so glad you went to APU; it was an important time of growth, expanding your horizons, and learning to put yourself in another person’s shoes. It wasn’t a waste of time (and guess what– your student loans are all paid off!).

When you look back, you’ll mostly remember the long hours in the campus prayer chapel. All those early mornings, all four years, reading Isaiah and the gospels, worshipping with Kim Walker and Misty Edwards cds on your knockoff iPod, reading and rereading that Lou Engle book that someone left, interceding on your face for revival at APU, that one time you danced to Holy by Matt Gilman until you couldn’t breathe…

You already know that those hours are precious. God is doing something deep in you, teaching you how to be like Mary of Bethany, like He called you to be when you were 16. You’re learning what it really looks like to waste your life poured out in prayer and worship at His feet. Ultimately, it’s the Mary dream that will draw you away from acting. And that’s okay.

Would you believe me if I told you that Mary of Bethany is only the very tip of the iceberg?

Around this time you wrote in your journal (I think it was last Christmas break):

I’m just a little girl with big eyes waiting for my revolution.

There’s so much hope and yearning in that phrase. You’re feeling so young and idealistic, itching to do something crazy and counter-cultural, tear down the white picket fence, find the bigger purpose you were born for.

Guess what, little girl–not too many years from now, you’re going to find your revolution. And it’s called the end time prayer movement.

That desire to be Mary will carry you to Kansas City. I know you’ve heard of IHOPKC, but you have no idea the depth of the impact that place will have on you. When you finally follow your heart to the 24/7 prayer room, you will find not only the joy of deeper intimacy with Jesus, but an entire storyline that will captivate your imagination and burn a conviction on your soul.

Remember reading the Left Behind series in high school? Remember wishing you could get temporarily un-saved so you could miss the rapture and be here for the tribulation? (Welp, you’re actually a post-tribber now, so I guess that worked out!) Remember the day the last book came out and you stood in the aisle of the Christian bookstore flipping through the chapters, hands trembling, heart pounding, reading every scene with Jesus appearing in the sky and talking to the characters in person?

Remember being six years old and asking Jesus why He was waiting to come back? And hearing Him tell you so clearly, “To give people time”? (2 Pet. 3:9)

You’ve been prepared for this your whole life.

You’ll be skeptical at first, but keep asking Jesus what this means. Keep searching the Word and letting all those teachings and worship songs woo your heart into the story.

This is the revolution you were born for. God is raising up a global singing Bride, an entire army of Mary of Bethanys who will usher in His return with bold proclamations and lovesick cries of “Come, Lord Jesus”.

Keep saying yes, step by step. Say yes to prayer chapel. Say yes to fasting. Say yes to the One Thing Internship when Erica asks you to go with her. Say yes to the invitation to the prayer movement when it comes. Say yes to turning your life upside down to move across the country–once, and then twice. Say yes to the radical, ancient calling that makes no sense to anyone else.

You’re 29 now, still radically in love with Jesus, now a ministry leader, worship leader, Bible teacher, mentor… still Mary of Bethany, wasting your life in a prayer room with your gaze set on eternity.

Not everything turned out how you imagined, but trust me, it’s better than you dreamed. His story is always better.

Love, Caitlyn

Arlington, Texas
January 2020

For more of the story of how this transition in my life unfolded, check out My Story.

2020 Caitlyn – slightly less babyfaced, but just as much joy, plus double the purpose and triple the confidence.
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8 Things I Learned in My First Year of (More Serious) Blogging

On By CaitlynIn Just Thoughts

We made it through year one! Fragrancearise.com launched in January, 2019. I had big dreams and stars in my eyes– anyone who knows me could tell you that whenever I start a project I’m excited about I aim for the clouds. It’s been an exciting year, and I’ve learned a lot about myself and about running a blog.

I’ve been writing Fragrance Arise since December 2011, but most of that time was sporadic, didn’t really have a target audience, and wasn’t well promoted. Plus, I wasn’t on my own domain. 2019 was my first “official” year trying to take blogging more seriously. I’m still a baby blogger in many ways, but having come through my first year I think I’ve definitely learned a few things and can go into year two a little wiser and more well balanced.

So since you’re on this journey with me, here are a few things I’ve learned and would want to tell another baby blogger (or myself a year ago).

1. Know Why You’re Writing

When I started to take Fragrance Arise a little more seriously around 2017 or so, my desire was for it to be a resource to strengthen the prayer movement. Phrased more fully, the mission of this blog is:

To equip and invite the church into the great Story that God is telling in the final chapter of history before Jesus’ return, especially as it relates to the global prayer movement.

Habakkuk 2:2 says, “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it.” Having this clear vision in front of me allows me to run in a focused direction. It informs my content choices, and it reminds me why this matters on days I feel unmotivated.

For more about the vision of Fragrance Arise, especially the tagline “Jesus is beautiful. Love Him. Join Him,” check out my Behind the Blog page.

2. Know What’s Important to You

Some things are important to me; some are not. The vision is of utmost importance. Other things, like monetizing, are much less important. I won’t promise never to use affiliate links [update from 2022, I just became an Amazon affiliate], but so far I haven’t, because that’s not a priority to me. Nothing on this blog is making any money at all, and I’m not looking for ways to turn it into a cash cow. (I do have a Partner With Me page for anyone who wants to donate, though!)

Is that because I’m independently wealthy? Ha, NOPE! I’m a missionary who lives on whatever support I can raise, and side income is always welcome. But in keeping with #1, the vision of this blog to grow the prayer movement is paramount to me. The last thing I want is to clutter it up with ads, sponsored posts, and affiliate links. I want to maintain the purity of the message and the trust of my community.

3. Have a Plan, But Give Yourself Grace

When I launched last January, I had a pretty aggressive plan in place of posting twice a week with carefully planned series. I’ve done that properly only a few months since then. I definitely want to be more consistent, but I also need to recognize where my boundaries need to be. A while ago, God started speaking to me about guarding my prayer room time and not using so much of it to work on the blog. Yep, I probably lost face a bit with some of my readers, but connecting with Jesus is more important. I’m Mary of Bethany first before I’m a blogger.

Now, I’m experimenting with moving some of my content to my social media, which is easier to prep and publish (and might get more engagement anyway) and posting slightly less frequently on the blog. We’ll see what 2020 ends up looking like exactly… a solid content calendar is great, but I need to find a balance that keeps my heart healthy while still upholding the vision. I’m giving myself grace to find that balance. 🙂

4. Be Who You Are

Once upon a time, I would make sure my makeup was perfect before snapping a selfie or filming a quick promo for my blog insta. However, my daily makeup look is little-to-none, so why not just be authentic? The same philosophy holds true for how I write. I don’t want to try to be artificially polished or present myself as more spiritual than I am. I’m not afraid to be raw, because I believe that’s important.

5. Write What’s Burning

If something is burning on my heart, I need to write it! Usually these posts end up being the most powerful, even if they’re outside of the carefully structured content calendar. I can always save them for when I have a hole in my schedule.

6. Write What’s Not Burning

On the flip side, if I ONLY wait till I’m passionately motivated to write what’s “burning”, I will rarely write! I need to make lists, give myself assignments, and write what needs to be written. Usually I end up getting into a flow and find my passion along the way.

7. Connect With Readers

My favorite part of writing/promoting Fragrance Arise has been connecting with readers. I LOVE when people respond to my emails, and I love chatting with people on Instagram and Facebook too. It’s such a joy to see the same people regularly interact with my posts. I’ve discovered and started following different kinds of prayer ministries all over the world, and share their posts occasionally, so that I and the rest of my followers are all encouraged together!

8. Know Your Tools, But Don’t Do EVERYTHING

There are So. Many. Tools. available to help take your blog to the next level. I discovered a bunch in my research process, and I’ve spent the past year sorting through what would actually be helpful to me, and putting a few others on the back burner to use later once I grow into them a bit.

Awesome tools I use:

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Canva for creating all my images (Seriously, I CANNOT believe I went several months into doing this WITHOUT using Canva. I was an idiot. Now creating images takes all of about 5 minutes, and I can edit them anytime.)
  • Unsplash for sourcing all my stock images (All 100% free and supplied by brilliant amateur photographers!)
  • Hootsuite for scheduling social media posts (so far– I might switch to Later)
  • Mailchimp for sending emails
  • Linktree for my Instagram link in bio

Awesome tools I’m not currently using (or using to their full potential):

  • Twitter
  • Youtube
  • Pinterest
  • Tailwind for scheduling Pinterest posts
  • KingSumo for giveaways
  • Trello for planning my content calendar
  • Amazon Influencer or other affiliate programs [like I said above, I finally started doing this in 2022!]
  • The premium version of anything
  • An online store
  • Online courses I could sell or provide for free

In Year Two..

In 2020, #3 especially is a goal in every area of my life. I want to be faithful and a good steward without allowing myself to fall into discouragement when I don’t meet my high ideals. So pray for me as I seek to find wisdom and balance in setting and meeting goals!

I have several fun things cooked up for this year on Fragrance Arise. A few more Tools for a Life of Prayer posts are on their way, and then after that I’ll be going into a completely different kind of series walking through the story of the Song of Solomon! Join my email list for freebies and updates as we go further up and further in!

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Holy Stubbornness: Don’t Quit on Your Calling

On By CaitlynIn Just Thoughts2 Comments


Building a house of prayer is NOT easy. I’ve heard multiple leaders say it’s the hardest thing they’ve ever done–way harder than planting a church, doing overseas missions, etc. Really, the only reason this place is still standing is that years ago, God graciously gave us a holy stubbornness to NOT QUIT NO MATTER WHAT.

There are so, so many reasons to quit. When the money falls apart, the people wander off, the building gets taken away, other important causes demand attention… there is every good and natural reason in the world to quit.

In the “world”.

But we are not of this world. We don’t think like this world. We are not slaves to things like practicality and pragmatism. We don’t make decisions based only on numbers and logic.

We make decisions on faith.

13 years ago, God called a guy named Brad to start a daily prayer meeting that was eventually supposed to become a 24/7 house of prayer (this is TPR’s origin story). And then one by one, over the years, God called each of us to be part of it. Occasionally, He calls someone out of it just as clearly as He called them in. But MOST of the time… He expects us to plant our feet and not walk away from the thing He called us to. No matter what.

Of course we look at the numbers and listen to reason. Sometimes God leads through reason. But there are times, especially about the big things, when we need to set our face like flint and refuse to back down.

“For the Lord GOD will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed.”
(Isaiah 50:7)

For us at The Prayer Room, that means first and foremost day and night prayer, 5:00 am to 11:00 pm with live worship, every single day of the week. We don’t take a day off and we don’t cut corners. We don’t cut the schedule when we’re running low on people–by golly, we’d invent human cloning before we’d cancel a prayer meeting.

For me personally, holy stubbornness means I know I am called to be part of the house of prayer movement. I make decisions based on that calling. I have discouraged guys from pursuing me because of that calling. I arrange my finances and my schedule around that calling. For me, God has been clear that means full-time missionary staff at The Prayer Room. I do not have the right to decide to do something else with my life, no matter how convenient, attractive, logical, or even necessary other options may seem.

The pastor I grew up with, Pastor Danny at Water of Life, calls this “staying on your number”. Years ago, he used a sermon illustration of gym class at school where the coach would tell all the kids to stand on their assigned number on the gym floor. No matter how much you wanted to move or felt entitled to a more favourable number, you had to stay on your number. The phrase has become Water of Life shorthand for staying grounded where God has planted you.

Really what this comes down to is obedience and faith.

“And Samuel said, ‘Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams.'”
(1 Samuel 15:22)

In the story of 1 Samuel 15, God told King Saul to completely destroy his enemies and all of their possessions and livestock. When the prophet Samuel showed up, he found that King Saul had done his idea of the right thing, which was to spare the best of the livestock for the purpose of sacrificing it to God. That sounds pretty holy, right? But God’s message to Saul was, “I told you what to do, and you didn’t do it. The excuse ‘I’m doing this for You!’ doesn’t cut it, because I TOLD YOU what to do, and this was not it. To obey is better than sacrifice.”

Obeying what God actually said is better than doing other good things for good reasons that are NOT actually what God said to do. God delights in obedience. It gives Him great pleasure when we trust Him enough to follow what He said to do no matter what, even if there are “good reasons” to do something different.

For us, that means we’re stubbornly going to keep building the house of prayer.
For you, it might be the house of prayer, or it might be something different. Maybe God has called you to overseas missions, or to a church ministry, or to a specific marketplace career. Maybe it’s your marriage, or homeschooling, or fostering/adoption.

DON’T QUIT.

God called you into this for a reason. You said yes for a reason. Remember what that reason was, and hold onto it. Unless He releases you as clearly as He called you… don’t walk away.

Get stubborn. Get iron in your soul. Get a flinty face like Isaiah. Get radically surrendered like Jesus in Gethsemane.

Walk by faith, not by sight.

When it gets hard, He will give you grace to walk through it. His grace is sufficient. He will not let you fall. He might let you come close, but His promise is that those who wait on Him will not be ashamed. I think that means that even if there are moments or seasons of pressure and even embarrassment, in the long run you will not regret choosing to trust Him. You will look back a thousand years from now and be so grateful you kept saying yes. Wisdom will be justified.

It’s worth it. Holy stubbornness that says YES to Jesus no matter what is worth it.

Don’t give up on Him.

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May the Lamb That Was Slain Receive the Reward of His Suffering

On By CaitlynIn Just Thoughts

On August 27, 1727, a prayer meeting started in Herrnhut, Germany, that lasted for over 100 years and went on the change the world.

Its story begins when Protestant refugees from the Catholic country of Moravia, the legacy of reformer John Hus, came to Germany and settled on the land of Count Zinzendorf. The community was soon attacked by division and disagreement, and the 27-year-old Zinzendorf cried out to God for reconciliation and revival. God spoke to him Leviticus 6:13:

“Fire shall be kept burning on the altar continually; it shall not go out.”
(Leviticus 6:13)

Days later, on August 13, 1727, a wave of repentance and revival swept through the community. The Holy Spirit was dramatically poured out with signs and wonders and supernatural love for each other, for the Scriptures, and most supremely for Jesus. His glory became their urgent desire. The community adopted a radical new model for community life, which included a perpetual corporate prayer assembly in the spirit of Leviticus 6:13. They all committed to hourly “prayer watches” by which they arranged the community to cover the entire 24 hours in a day.

Let me say that again: as a result of this dramatic move of the Holy Spirit, this small refugee community started 24/7 prayer that lasted over 100 years.

The Moravian emblem, based on Revelation 5:5-6, 14:4. (stained glass window in the Rights Chapel at Trinity Moravian Church, Winston-Salem, NC)

The impact of this 100-year prayer meeting reached far beyond the small settlement of Herrnhut. The radical love for Jesus and fire of the Spirit that was rooted in them during those 24/7 prayer meetings gave birth to one of the most prolific missionary movements of history and became an inspiration and challenge to the modern missions movement that would soon be born. They sent out hundreds of missionaries to every corner of the globe and saw dramatic success. Their methods are not unlike the best of modern missionary strategies: they focussed pointedly on preaching the simple gospel of “Christ and Him crucified,” they learned the local language, won the respect of the people, and contextualized their preaching, they didn’t expect their converts to become Westernized, and they made prayer their foundation and relied on the supernatural work of the Holy Spirit. (This is an incredible article about the Moravian mission strategy.)

William Carey, who is known as the father of modern missions, was deeply inspired by the example of the Moravians and took their prolific missions activity as a personal challenge: “See what the Moravians have done! Cannot we follow their example and in obedience to our Heavenly Master go out into the world, and preach the Gospel to the heathen?”

The Moravians had a powerful influence on the birth of the Great Awakening, too. John Wesley, one of the leaders of this revival that hit the UK and the American colonies in the 1730s and 40s, was shocked and marked by witnessing the faith of the Moravians amid a storm at sea, and went on to fully trust Christ for salvation under their preaching (when his heart was “strangely warmed,” if you’ve heard that story). He had already been a priest, but until his encounter with the genuine, personal faith of the Moravians, Wesley didn’t have his own personal relationship with Jesus. Wesley lived with the Moravians at Herrnhut for several months, and the impact they had on him was carried over into his leadership of the Methodist Revival and the Great Awakening alongside Jonathan Edwards and George Whitefield, in which tens of thousands were powerfully convicted of sin and surrendered to Jesus.

The Moravian mission ship Harmony

What was the source of the Moravians’ zeal?

What conviction had gripped their hearts? In a nutshell, it can be found in the story of the first two Moravian missionaries who were sent out from the Herrnhut community.

In 1732, five years after the initial outpouring of the Spirit, two Moravian tradesmen, 36-year-old David Nitschmann and 26-year-old Johann Leonhard Dober, became the first missionaries to leave Herrnhut. They heard of the plight of African slaves on the island of St. Thomas in the Caribbean, and how there was a spiritual hunger but they had no one to share the gospel with them. They determined to go by any means necessary, even when they were told they would have to sell themselves into slavery in order to minister among the slaves. (As it turns out, when they offered themselves as slaves in Copenhagen, they were laughed at because no one would buy white men as slaves, so they traveled to St. Thomas by working their trades.)

According to the story that has stirred missionary zeal the world over for the past near-300 years, as they stood on the ship departing from the wharf, looking for what they believed to be the last time of the faces of their loved ones, they raised their fists and cried, “MAY THE LAMB THAT WAS SLAIN RECEIVE THE REWARD OF HIS SUFFERING.”

This is it. They were deeply in love with the slain Lamb, cherished the love He showed on the cross, thunderously affirmed His infinite worth, and passionately desired that He would have what He deserved– the reward of His suffering.

That cry, that burning desire for Jesus to have the full inheritance of everything He died for, has captivated me for a decade.

What is the “reward of His suffering”?

What does He deserve for His sacrifice on the cross?

He deserves the nations to the ends of the earth as His inheritance.

“You are my Son…Ask of me, and I will make the nations your heritage, and the ends of the earth your possession.” Psalm 2:7-8

He deserves the saints as His glorious inheritance.

“that you may know…what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints” Ephesians 1:18

He deserves to be preeminent (in first place) in everything.

“…He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent.” Colossians 1:18

He deserves exaltation and the homage of every person.

“And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow… and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord…” Philippians 2:8-11

He deserves power, authority, glory, and worship.

“Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!” Revelation 5:12
He deserves ultimate exaltation and glory. He deserves every person everywhere singing highest praises from hearts in love. He deserves to fully rule and reign over every single aspect of life.

The truth is, there is NO LIMIT to how much He deserves. Isaiah 9:7 says that His kingdom will continue to increase forever and ever.

What does that mean for us?

In light of the biblical testimony of the great worth of the Lamb, in light of the historical testimony of the saints and martyrs who laid down everything for Him, is there any limit to how much He deserves in our lives?

Is there any passion too extreme?

Is there any offering too extravagant?

Is there any commitment too radical?

Count Zinzendorf and the Moravians at Herrnhut, like King David and thousands of others throughout history, determined that 24/7 prayer and worship was not too much to respond to His glory.

Nitschmann and Dober determined that selling themselves into slavery was not too high a price to pay so that the Lamb would have His reward in the slaves of St. Thomas.

May we be driven by their example. May their cry be the great echoing anthem of the Church across the earth as we strive to lay down everything to see His glory have its full due:

MAY THE LAMB
THAT WAS SLAIN
RECEIVE THE REWARD
OF HIS SUFFERING.

 

If you’re hungry for more, I highly recommend the book Moravian Miracle by Dr. Jason Hubbard, director of International Prayer Connect, with forward by Dick Eastman. Fantastic book- so encouraging and stirring!

A few more goodies for you:

 

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I Always Took You Where You Needed To Go

On By CaitlynIn Just Thoughts3 Comments

As I’m preparing for the next major transition in my life (moving to Dallas!!), I find myself looking back over some of the previous turning points in my life. As I think is common for most people, a number of the things I was expecting to happen… didn’t.

  • I planned to meet my husband at APU… nope.
  • I planned to begin an acting career after I graduated… complete 180.
  • I planned to do OTI summer 2013… plans changed.
  • I planned to stay in CA after OTI… ha.
  • I planned to meet my husband at IHOPU… that didn’t happen either [as far as I know].

That’s the thing about making plans… they don’t always turn out as, well, planned.

Enter this golden Doctor Who quote.
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The woman, Idris, (my car’s namesake) is currently housing the consciousness of the TARDIS– the Doctor’s space ship/time machine. (Yes, the ship has a consciousness… just go with it.) The Doctor takes this unique face-to-face opportunity to accuse her of being unreliable:

The Doctor: “You didn’t always take me where I wanted to go.”
Idris: “No, but I always took you where you needed to go.”

In my experience, God is like that too. He most certainly had not always taken me where I wanted to go. If I had been writing my story, quite a few things would have been different.

But if I had chosen my own path ahead of time, I would have missed out on so much that was meant to be part of my journey.

If I had married someone I met at APU, it probably wouldn’t have been someone connected to the prayer movement and I probably wouldn’t have ended up involved with IHOPKC.

If I had gone into the industry as an actor… who knows where my life would have led. Again, probably not to the prayer movement.

If I had done OTI summer 2013 instead of summer 2012, I would have met completely different people and would still be in IHOPU, if I had even decided to stay.

So many times I had my plans and desires all laid out, and God knew what was better. I knew what I wanted, but He knew what I needed.

Jesus is really good and I trust Him. He has never led me astray, and He never will.

“The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.”
(Proverbs 16:9)

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Three Reasons I Love Getting Rid of Stuff

On By CaitlynIn Just Thoughts1 Comment

Since I’m moving to Texas in January, I’ve been trying to minimise the amount of STUFF in my life. I’ve given away dozens of bags of clothes, books, fabric, trinkets, etc, and thrown away quite a few bags as well, and I actually find it quite refreshing.
Here are three things I tell myself as I’m getting rid of stuff:

1. If it doesn’t bless me, it doesn’t belong in my home.

I’m pretty sure this statement is paraphrased from something I read in a FLYlady book of my mom’s years ago. It easily applies to the clothes I never wear and books I never plan to read, but it also helps me sort through memorabilia I kept because I felt I “should.” Of course I don’t want to get rid of everything that holds a memory! But not all memories are good ones, and I should never feel obligated to keep a thing just because it’s tied to a memory. The first time I put this principle to use was when I got rid of a soccer jersey from a year I didn’t really have fun on my team. I still remember the revelation of freedom I felt when I finally refused to be guilted into holding onto something that wasn’t blessing me!

Everything I own should “earn its keep” by adding value to my life–be that spiritual, emotional, intellectual, or practical. Even some things that once added value may eventually overstay their welcome. (There’s really no reason to stash a decade worth of birthday cards from everyone I’ve ever known!) If it doesn’t bless me, it doesn’t belong in my home.

2. I know who I am without all this stuff to remind me.

Another reason I often keep stuff is to remind myself that things happened and impacted my life. It’s as if I believe that all these old show tickets, event fliers, and crew t-shirts are puzzle pieces that add up to who I am today, and if I get rid of them, I’ll be losing a part of myself. But guess what – those experiences are part of me.

I don’t need the memorabilia to remember that they happened. I don’t need all my old character journals to remind me that I’m an actor. I don’t need all the little toys to remind me that I had a good childhood. Sure, there’s nothing wrong with saving some things, but I’m not betraying those parts of myself by letting go of the physical evidence. I think there was a time when I relied on all the evidence of my experiences to tell me who I was. I’ve grown and become so much more secure as a person, and I don’t need them anymore. I know who I am.

3. I’m freer to say “yes” when God calls me to travel.

This is the reason that has prompted my frequent donating sprees recently. I’ve moved so many times in the past six years, and every time I’ve managed to live for months or years out of just what I can fit in my car. It’s astonishing how little I “need” to live a full and happy life! When I own less stuff, I’m freer to be available and responsive to God’s call to move to Crestline, or Kansas City, or Dallas. If in the future God calls me again to move suddenly, I don’t want the amount of stuff I own to be any kind of hindrance to saying “yes.”

I’m far from a true minimalist, but I really do want to live unhindered by material possessions. I’ve been inspired by a number of books and blogs on the subject of minimalistic living, and if you’re looking for something to fuel your own motivations, I suggest you start with a few of the posts at Becoming Minimalist.

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Don’t Waste It!

On By CaitlynIn Just Thoughts2 Comments

“Ten thousand Americans turn 70 every day… Billions of dollars are spent every year trying to get us to waste the last chapter of our lives on leisure. I’m spending one afternoon to plead with the rising seventy-somethings: Don’t waste it.”
–John Piper, “Hilary, Bernie, Donald, and Me”

I read this article recently when it came across my Facebook newsfeed as a post from the Desiring God page. John Piper, as he frequently does, was enthusing at length about the incredible opportunity the 65+ crowd has to serve the Kingdom of God with “maximum zeal” in their retirement years. His argument is simple, and it applies to believers of every age: Why should we waste God-given opportunities for passionate, radical, sacrificial living for the Kingdom and instead settle for the cheap comforts of this world?

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with vacations, days off, and the occasional Netflix binge. But if that becomes the primary way we spend our free time, we’re in trouble.

I’d like to introduce you to my Grandpa Rey. There’s a lot I could say about what he’s meant to my family over the years, but for the sake of this blog post I’d like to focus on something very recent. This was posted on Facebook by the youth pastor at his church.
grandpa rey fb 2
Grandpa Rey’s wife, my Grandma Jean, passed away this March. Grandpa Rey had been spending nearly all his time taking care of her, but when she went home to Jesus and he suddenly had more free time, he almost immediately began serving in the youth group at his church. During the evening youth services, he sits in the back of the room and prays for the students, and afterward many of them come to him seeking wisdom, prayer, and hugs.

My grandpa loves Jesus, loves the Word, fellowships with the Holy Spirit, believes in revival, and puts it all into action by praying for and loving the people in front of him– in fact, he seeks out people to pray for and love. God is using him at age 79 to powerfully touch young people, which wouldn’t be happening if he hadn’t chosen to sow his time into the Kingdom– time which many others in his position would have chosen to spend on themselves.

I talked on the phone with him last night, and he shared with me a story of a crisis that one of the students experienced, which resulted in dozens of church members gathered at the hospital praying and worshipping. Several people got healed and 15 people got saved!! What a testimony! I’m so excited that my grandpa got to be part of such a move of God!

It’s easy for me to brag on my grandpa, but that isn’t actually why I’m writing this. I wanted to share his story because I’m provoked by him, and by John Piper and dozens of others, to make good use of the days I’m given. I’m several decades away from potential retirement, but right now, I am kind of “retired” from college. I’m still working part-time and preparing for my transition to ministry in Dallas, but I have a lot more free time now than I did even six months ago. (Plus, I’m not married and I don’t have kids, so I have the 1 Corinthians 7:34 thing going for me!)

I’ve been entrusted with these hours, these days. How am I spending them?

I’m not saying we all need to jump and go sign up for ministries at church, but I am encouraging us to check our hearts and motivations. When God gives us the great stewardship of Time, do we rush to spend it on our own flesh without a second thought, or do we consider how our time can be sown into something of eternal value?

The stakes are high. Time is short. Let’s not waste it.

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.”
(Ephesians 5:15-16)

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The Power of Coffee and Awkward Conversations

On By CaitlynIn Just Thoughts15 Comments


I really didn’t want to talk to her about this.

I had already made small efforts to smooth things over, but I still hadn’t just sat down, looked her in the eye, and said what I needed to say.

We used to be quite close, but enough had changed that I didn’t know what to expect. The truth is, I was afraid. I was afraid of awkwardness, of saying it wrong, of not hearing the response I wanted to hear… of being hurt again.

It took strong prompting from people whose wisdom I trust to get me to ask her to coffee. We went to a local cafe, I bought her a latte, we made very friendly small talk that felt like old times… then I took a deep breath and carefully broached the subject.

Over the next hour, we talked, listened, shared our hearts, laughed, affirmed and encouraged each other, and hugged. By the time I walked out of that coffee shop, my heart felt a thousand times lighter. I drove away enthusiastically gushing to God, “Yes!! This is what it’s supposed to be like! Thank You for unity, humility, and RECONCILIATION in Your people!”

This will probably shock people who’ve known me for longer than five or six years, but I can honestly say that at this point in my life, I am a huge fan of awkward conversations. Preferably over coffee.*

I think this is because I hate division. I really, really, really hate division. I hate when people who ought to be showing the love of Christ to each other can’t bring themselves to just lay the awkwardness on the table and deal with it. I hate it when someone I really do like and respect can’t bring him- or herself to make things right with me. Some things are better left unsaid, but many times, unspoken words fester like a wound that won’t heal.

I’ve actually been on the receiving end of these “awkward conversations” toward reconciliation more often than I have initiated them, and I can tell you, I’ve always walked away with more respect for the other person and feeling like a wall had been broken down. Every time, when the conversation is approached with love, tenderness, honesty, and humility, I know God is rejoicing with us.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God… So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”
(Matthew 5:9, 23-24)

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body.”
(Colossians 3:12-15)

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
(Romans 12:18)

We’re a family. We’re one body in Christ. We have no right to let unspoken words build up walls between us. Love and unity is our mandate, and I’m determined to fight for it – Every. Single. Time.

So if you need to initiate an “awkward conversation” with someone, here’s my advice:

  1. PRAY. Get God’s heart for the situation. Ask Him for love to abound (Philippians 1:9).
  2. If you can without breaking anyone’s confidence, talk to someone you know will give you wise counsel and pray with you before the conversation takes place.
  3. If at all possible, ask if you can take them out for coffee (or tea, or fro-yo, or whatever). Avoid the “business meeting” feeling. Let them know that you value spending time with them.
  4. Don’t launch right in. Chat, ask questions, show interest in their life and heart outside of this one issue. This is part of loving and honouring them well.
  5. Share your feelings as simply, honestly, and tenderly as possible. Ask forgiveness in any area you can think of.
  6. Embrace the awkwardness. Laugh about it! They’re probably as uncomfortable as you are. Acknowledging it robs it of its power.
  7. Ask questions and listen. Let them say whatever they want. The goal is mutual understanding for the sake of unity.
  8. Encourage the other person! Tell them what you love about them. Affirm what you see God doing in their life.
  9. Don’t be paranoid about saying everything exactly right. The point is to expose what’s been hiding. It’s okay if it’s a messy process.
  10. GO LOW. Humility is your best friend. Humility will win the war when every other weapon fails.

It’s amazing how much healing can come from a cup of coffee and open communication soaked in love, humility, and honour.

So go forth and be boldly awkward for the sake of unity, my friends!

*I love the cultural phenomenon that is “going out for coffee” together with someone, but I’m actually not a huge coffee person, so if you ask me out for coffee, I’m probably going to just drink tea.

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